Janette Rallison's Blog

And the winners are . . .

2012-02-01T09:22:00.002-07:00

Since I had so many comments, I chose two winners. (Random.org helped though. Random is an awesome guy that way.)

Tiana Smith

Liz

You know the drill. Send me your addresses and I'll try to get your books to the post office in the next few days.

For everybody else, don't worry. There are more give-aways on the horizon.

blog hop give-away

2012-01-26T23:24:00.004-07:00

Inspired Kathy emailed me and asked if I wanted to be part of a blog hop. I said, "Sure," because a blog hop sounded like a sock hop and I thought it might involve dancing. Besides, who am I to argue with someone who's inspired?

It turns out there is no dancing in a blog hop, but if you feel inspired to dance, I won't stop you.

I realized upon reading Kathy's last email that this give-away is supposed to involve a paranormal romance. I just happen to have written a paranormal romance, but my editor is reading it right now, so it's not actually available in book form.

Therefore, I'm giving away a signed copy of My Fair Godmother. After all, it does reference Edward Cullen, and if you squint, fairies sort of look like vampires, all sparkly and whatnot.

So leaving a comment will get you one chance, and promising to put my books face out on the shelf the next time you are in a bookstore will give you two. (Yeah, that's the kind of followers I have, baby. Rebels to the core.)

Erasing Time--the cover is finally final.

2012-01-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

Notice any differences? I didn't. (Which is why I'm lousy at all of those picture games where you're supposed to find six differences in what appear to be two identical pictures.) Anyway, I'm very happy with it. It's an awesome cover.

The book is coming out September 2012, and I'm writing the sequel right now. (Must figure out a way to put the cover on my sidebar and website . . .)

Which Cover Do You Like Best?

2012-01-16T22:21:00.007-07:00

I put Playing the Field, one of my earlier books, up as an ebook last month. I needed a new cover and couldn't decide whether to use one that would appeal to boys--because the main character is guy, or one that would appeal to girls--because most of my readers are girls. And, after all, a lot of girls read books with guys as main characters.

Then fellow writer, Robin Brande, suggested I do two covers and see which sells best. Which was a great suggestion and would have been a very interesting cover experiment. The only problem is that Amazon (and I suppose other sites as well) don't let you put up two different covers for the same book.

So, I'm going to ask you all which you like best. Does the boy cover appeal to you even though it's clearly a boy cover, (The guy does have a sort of hot wrist, after all)or would you pass that one by and only buy the girl cover?

And, in case you really do feel like buying a good middle grade comedy, I've just lowered the price to .99 on Amazon and on Smashwords (which lowers it on B&N, right?)so you can also vote by buying one copy or the other.

Here's the link to the girl cover:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/108937

Here's the link to the guy cover:
http://www.amazon.com/Playing-The-Field-ebook/dp/B006HWV3KG/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1326779906&sr=1-2

Creepiest kids' toys

2012-01-08T21:56:00.003-07:00

Okay, on first glance, cute pink-haired Lalaloopsy doesn't seem creepy--that is unless you've read the book Coraline or seen the movie. Because the evil-scary-bad people have those exact same button eyes. Creepiest thing ever! (Shudders just thinking about it.) Don't put this doll on your bed. She may kill you sometime during the night. That's why she's smiling.

Some things shouldn't be combined. Dora and Pillow Pets are two of those things.

Dora looks like she has become some sort of mutant furry animal akin to that freaky dog in the original Body Snatchers movie. (But at least he doesn't have button eyes.)

I've always loved Barbie. Really. I have more Barbies than is probably healthy for a grown woman to own. (But that's a different blog.) So I was understandably disturbed to see decapitated Barbie heads in the toy aisle. My first thought was, "Well, it looks like Mattel has finally done a Marie Antoinette doll." Then I realized that no, Barbie now has a line where the heads are switchable. Remember how people used to worry that Barbie sent the wrong body image message to young girls? I'm glad they've straightened out that issue.

I'm a huge Star Wars fan. At one point I wanted to marry Luke Skywalker. (On some days I still do.) I hate to criticize anything Star Wars, but despite this deep seated love, I must point out that Yoda makes a really creepy child's toy.

Um, am I only the one who thinks that Yoda looks like he has emerged from a horror film and is trying to strangle this hapless child?

The catalog copy says Cuddle with you, I will! Judging from this picture, Yoda is also saying, "Hide under your bed, I will. Come out at night while you're sleeping, I will. Try to suck your brains out, I will."

No thanks, I'll pass on that Star Wars memorabilia.

If you haven't seen the movie Rango, this next picture is Ms. Beans, the love interest of Johnny Depp--er, I mean Rango. Johny Depp just does the voice for Rango. Anyway, she's supposed to be a Desert Iguana.

Personally, I think she would frighten most children and many adults. I mean, really, she is clearly just an alien wearing a wig.

So parents, if you are going to go to the trouble to buy your children a gift, don't buy them one that they will later need therapy for. Hey, I know what would be really great. How about a book? I know of many good ones, including this one:

It's available at all your fine bookstores (including the Portland airport--how awesome is that?) Here are links for your convenience. (Because I'm thoughtful that way.)

http://www.changinghands.com/book/9780312614140

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/cj-hill-slayers?keyword=cj+hill+slayers&store=allproducts

Or if you're looking for a kindle bargain try this book at 2.51

http://www.amazon.com/My-Fair-Godmother-ebook/dp/B00413PHVO/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1326120589&sr=1-1

Two great writing conferences

2012-01-03T23:48:00.000-07:00

Do you dream of the glamorous life of an author? Would you like to spend long hours huddled, unshowered, in front of your computer? Then, my friend, I've got good news. Two awesome conferences are just around the corner.

9am-3pm SATURDAY, JANUARY 28
Phoenix Public Library and Changing Hands Bookstore present
YOUNG ADULT WRITING CONFERENCE

Eleven authors of young adult fiction, including several New York Times bestsellers, share strategies, tips, and tricks for writing engaging work for tween and teen readers. You can choose three of four informative sessions to fill your three-session schedule, including "Unforgettable Characters," "Heroes and Villains," "Realistic Dialogue," and "Edgy Fiction." Please select your three sessions before calling to register by viewing class descriptions below.

Presenters and panelists include authors Adam Rex, Bree Despain, James Owen, Anna Carey, Kiersten White, Aprilynne Pike, Amy Fellner Dominy, C J Hill (aka Janette Rallison), Robin Brande, Cecil Castellucci, and Tom Leveen.

WRITING CLASSES, YOUNG ADULT WRITING PANEL AND BOX LUNCH
Location: Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N Central Ave, Phoenix 85004
Central at McDowell METRO Light Rail Station

EARLY REGISTRATION SPECIAL: $75 through Jan 19 | $85 Jan 20-28

Register now! 480.730.0205
More info at: http://www.changinghands.com/event/ww-ya-jan12

If you're agent ready, you won't want to miss the ANWA Writers Conference on Feb 23-25th

Here's just some of the amazing faculty who will be there:

Jane Dystel, President of Dystel & Goderich Literary Management
Anita Mumm reads queries and sample pages and presents workshops for writers across the country on behalf of Nelson Literary Agency.
Lisa Mangum, Assistant Editor at Deseret Book/Shadow Mountain.
Linda Prince Mulleneaux is Managing Editor at Walnut Springs Press.
And yours truly.

Plus, they're having pitch sessions--which means you can pitch your novel to one of these folks and get instant feedback. Trust me, that's worth every penny.

http://anwawritersconference.com/
More info is at:

New Year's Writing Resolutions

2011-12-28T22:26:00.004-07:00

It's that time when we all start thinking about New Year's resolutions. I've come up with ten writing goals. I might be able to keep nine of them.

1) Learn how to spell hors d'oeuvres so I don't have to google it every single time.

2) Use the word appetizers more instead of hors d'oeuvres.

3) Don't yell things at the computer such as, "Find that file or I'll show you what you can do with your gigabytes!" Or any other thing that would make the neighbors question my sanity.

4) Stop checking Amazon's rankings for my novels. Do I really want to know that353,194 books are selling better than mine today? No, I don't.

5) Stop noticing Amazon's rankings for other books. Do I really want to know that Snookie's book is number 11 in biographies? Again, no, I don't.

6) Learn what all those acronyms mean so I can understand my fan emails.

7) Don't send critiques to authors who have asked me for blurbs. (Yes, I have done this, and yes, I do feel bad about it. But in my defense, I was trying to help the authors improve their books.)

8) Don't see how many sunflower seeds the hamster can fit in its mouth while I'm supposed to be writing.

9) Don't see how many Almond Joys I can fit in my mouth while I'm supposed to be writing.

10) Finish my middle-grade fantasy, sell my paranormal romance, write sequels to Slayers, Erasing Time, and the next Fairy Godmother book--and do all the revisions said books require.

Sigh. Can you guess which goal I'll have the most trouble with?

Worst Christmas Gifts You Can Give

2011-12-19T23:25:00.014-07:00

I wish I could say that I had to look long and hard to find these horrible gifts, but no. I'm apparently on the catalog list for crazy people, and I get dozens of Gifts-for-the-Bizarre magazines. Without further ado (because there is enough doo-doo in this list) here are some gifts that will win you no brownie points with your friends and relatives.

What could be more tacky than dog poop on your lawn?
A sign with a dog pooping that you put in your lawn. I'm sure this is a lovely sight to see each morning. I bet the Home Owners Association will have nothing to say about it.

And speaking of poop (because what says the holidays better than poop?) here's a charming gift for that special someone in the office.
It poops paperclips, combining all that is sophomoric and unprofessional in one convenient desk item.

Looking for nostalgia? How about a gift that will remind you of those childhood days where you trapped unsuspecting bugs in an old jar and most likely left them to die on your dresser. Yep, just let these little babies blink on and off in their pathetic attempts to gain freedom. Plus, your loved ones will know that you spent actual money on this gift--which is worth approximately an old jar and some bugs.

This Granny sling shot would be a great gift for, um, uh, Grandpa, after Grandma runs off with Enrique, the poolboy.

How about a matching set of hats that look like sharks are eating your head? Junior will need therapy after this gift. For many reasons.

A lot of the items we sell here in America have the made in China label stamped on them. I often wonder what the factory workers in China think of the items they assemble.

"What are we working on today, Shang?"

Shang picks up a glowing solar frog and shrugs. "Maybe it is to warn against nuclear fall-out."

And lastly, what is a better way to impress upon friends and loved ones that you are totally not a psychopathic serial killer--than to hang a human brain ornament on your Christmas tree? Don't ask what happened to Dinky, Santa's missing elf.

If you want a good gift instead--try a book. In fact try one of mine. They're all good. And, as a special Christmas offer, my ebook Blue Eyes and Other Teenage Hazards will be available on Amazon for .99. This price will only last for a couple of weeks. (Or longer if I forget to change it back.)

http://www.amazon.com/Blue-Other-Teenage-Hazards-ebook/dp/B006HN8MSG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324364968&sr=8-1

Merry Christmas everyone!

How authors party

2011-12-16T00:23:00.006-07:00

One of the fun things about being an author is getting to hang out with other authors and cool book people. Last week eight Arizona authors put on an author appreciation open house--which sounds like we were appreciating ourselves, but really we were appreciating all of the many awesome teachers, librarians, and booksellers who do so much for reading. We lured them to Lisa McMann's house with promises of books and free food.

Here's another cool thing about being an author. You can have a blow-up of Captain Underpants sitting on your table and nobody thinks it's strange.

Here is a picture of James Owen and the chalk masterpiece he whipped up for the evening. Seriously, it only took him a few minutes to draw these dragons. Which seriously baffles my not-able-to-draw mind.

Many thanks to Janni Lee Simner, Amy Dominy, Aprilynne Pike, Lisa McMann, Bill Konigsberg, Tom Leveen, and James Owen for a great time!

And the winner is Jen

2011-12-13T23:56:00.002-07:00

I'm letting Jadean know. You can contact me with your email address and I'll pass it along to him. jrallisonfans at yahoo dot com

eBook give-away and interview with a writer's husband

2011-12-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

I met Danyelle Leafty at a writer's conference a couple years ago. A few days ago her husband emailed me and asked if I would like to interview her on my blog. I have to say I was impressed her husband was actively promoting her. If I had known I was going to be an author, I would have questioned all my boyfriends about their willingness to set up interviews for me. Alas, I didn't have the foresight to ask that important question.

Anyway, I decided to do something different for this interview. You’ve all read lots of interviews with authors. By this point you know about our creative quirks, our into-the-night writing sessions, our despair at rejection letters, and you know about those times we forgot to pick up our children from (fill in the blank) _________ because we lost track of time while writing that awesome love scene. But have you ever heard an interview from an author’s husband--from those poor folk that have to deal with us? Neither have I, so this interview should be interesting.

Without further ado, here is Jadean Leafty, husband of Danyelle Leafty, author of The Fairy Godmother Dilemma: Catspell. We’ll be giving away one of her ebooks to a lucky commenter on the blog.

When did you realize Danyelle was a writer, and by then was it too late to do anything about it?

I am told that I should've realized it a lot sooner than I did. I have a bad memory. I first realized that she was a writer when I went off gallivanting with a bunch of freshly graduated high school kids in Texas. Which is also when I was being yelled at by men in uniform to whom I was their senior in age by quite a few years. Pretty much while I was away at basic training. I knew it was serious though when I was deployed to Afghanistan. Of course by then it was too late, but I wouldn't trade her.

I once spent ten days dragging my husband around England to research castles for a novel that I still haven’t written. Has Danyelle ever dragged you into her research, and if so what did you have to do?

If by research, you mean the book store. YES. She doesn't have to really drag us anymore. Our six year old gets put out when we don't take the turns that would end us up at Barnes and Noble.

When I was writing romances, my husband once accused me of fantasizing about other men.
“Yeah,” I said, “but I’m getting paid to do it.” Then for my next romance I put my husband in the book as the hero. (What the Doctor Ordered) Which would have been a really sweet gesture if I hadn’t fired him from my romance four days later. My husband is too easy-going and he just wouldn’t argue and banter with the heroine. (Who incidentally was me. I did not fire myself from the novel as I am quite good at arguing and bantering.) Have you shown up in any of Danyelle’s books?

Bits and pieces of me do. The whole me has been in each of her dedications thus far. Usually some aspects of me are found in her prince charmings. I'm still trying to devour Catspell. But I have to fight the children for it. So reluctantly, I sneak chapters in while at church.

I am pretty sure that classifies as a sin--or true devotion to your wife. Either way, you are clearly a supportive husband. Do you read your wife’s drafts and offer suggestions?

Of course, time permitting. I have a keen eye for line editing. Heck, I even find mistakes in her "research" books.

Does she take kindly to your comments?

If they are valid, yes. She's always right.

Any last advice for wives who are authors?

Love the author. And even though she calls you biased don't believe it, her books are the BEST!

Those are words every author's husband should learn. Remember to leave a comment for a chance to win. To find out more about Danyelle you can go to her website at: http://www.danyelleleafty.com/

Your questions answered, plus a really cute dog

2011-12-01T22:59:00.002-07:00

Want to win a copy of Slayers? Free Book Friday is giving away three copies.
http://teens.freebookfriday.com/

Four winners

2011-11-30T23:34:00.001-07:00

The winners for the reveiw Slayers contest are:

AlienSplicer

LauraB

Gilbert86

earwaxtasteslikecrayons

Thanks for the reviews, guys!

email me at jrallisonfans at yahoo dot com and give me your address and tell me which of my books you would like.

Review Slayers and win a book

2011-11-23T12:33:00.002-07:00

I'm going to try something I've never done before. And no, I don't mean keeping my house clean for more than a 24-hour period of time, although that would be new too.

Now that Goodreads is up as a review site, I've noticed that a lot of people have stopped reviewing on Amazon and B&N. (I fall under this category myself.) But I'd like to see more Amazon reviews of my books. So here's the contest. Leave a review of Slayers on Amazon and/or Barnesandnoble.com (It can be the same review at both sites. You don't have to write different ones.)

I'm going to count each review written this week as an entry into the contest. Tweeting/facebooking/blogging about the contest will also give you an entry. You'll have to leave me a comment here telling me if you T/F/b about it, and which review is yours so I can contact you and tell you that you won.

If you win, you can have any book of mine that you want. I'll pick a winner for every five reviews written on each site. So if ten reviews are written on both Amazon and Barnes and Noble, I'll choose two winners, and so on.

So, you'll have a pretty good chance of winning a book.

And that's one less gift on your list to buy this holiday season.

Saphira vs Tamerlane

2011-11-14T23:47:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile someone asks me why I made the dragons in Slayers vicious animals instead of magical best friends. It’s not that I don’t like the friendly, loyal dragons from Eragon. If I was allowed to have one mythical character as a sidekick, it would be a dragon. Sure, Pegasus would be easier to ride, and all of those cute Disney animal sidekicks could belt out cheerful tunes when the moment called for it, but who would you want on your side in a fight? Right, the dragon.

So I totally get authors who write about good, helpful, dragons. But I have seen what dragons look like. (Okay, not really. This isn’t one of those alien abduction stories—although, come to think of it, that is exactly what all of those alien abduction stories need to spiff them up: a dragon or two.) What I mean is, I’ve seen drawings, paintings, statues, and coat-of-arms depicting dragons. This is generally what they look like:

Or:

Now I ask you, do either of these dragons look like they want to be your friend? No, they don’t. They look like they eat large animals. And probably the kind of animals they like best are the slow ones that God didn’t see fit to provide with horns or claws or anything that would prevent them from being easily gobbled up. Which means you.

This is probably a test that they should administer in schools to emphasize this point:

Which of the following animals would make a good pet?

Okay, you get my point. You wouldn't want to cuddle with my dragons.

The bug-dragon connection--at least in my mind

2011-11-07T09:32:00.001-07:00

Most story ideas don’t come to me whole and complete but are cobbled together from several incidents and thoughts. Slayers is that way. The first incident happened when I was fifth grade and had just moved to Silver Springs, Maryland. All the adults there were quite excited because this was the year that the cicadas would emerge from the ground after remaining dormant and hidden for 17 years. The next door neighbor happily explained to me that this was the cicadas’ way of avoiding predators. Since they only emerged every 17 years, predators couldn’t depend on them as a food source.
A brilliant adaptation, I might add, for an insect that isn’t smart enough to avoid accidentally flying into your hair.

I remember finding a lot of hollow cicada skins that summer, because cicada’s also shed their skin. Ahh, there’s nothing nicer to find hanging from your bedroom windowsill than a creepy, hollow bug skin.

But anyway, the point to all of this was that as a child I immediately picked up on what the adults seemed to have missed in the cicadas’ amazing return from the underworld. If bugs could (sort of) hibernate for nearly two decades in order to give themselves a natural advantage, why couldn’t other species do it too? Maybe there were animals with such long life cycles we just hadn’t caught them emerging yet.

I grew up on Godzilla movies and so had a strong and deep rooted fear that dinosaurs might one day show up and start smacking buildings around and eating screaming Japanese people—or worse yet: eat me.

No one knew what had caused the extinction of the dinosaurs and I was surprised that no one had come up with my theory. They weren’t really gone. They were just hibernating. Waiting until there were lots of yummy fifth grade girls around to chomp on. And there were probably some eggs buried under my house!!

The nice thing about childhood fears is that you can use them later in your novels. Nothing is ever wasted when you’re a writer.
The next piece that added to the Slayers plot was my own clumsiness. I will sometimes wake up in the morning and notice bruises or scratches and I have no idea how or when I got them. My husband is understandably amazed by this phenomena. He’ll say things like, “How can you not realize it when you hurt yourself? Were you with your body all day yesterday?”
Apparently not. Writers are like that sometimes.
I got tired of my husband’s comments so I started telling him, “While you sleep at night, I secretly go out and fight dragons.”

And then because I have a writer’s brain I wondered what it would be like to fight dragons. Viola, the beginning of a plot.

Erasing Time Cover preview

2011-11-04T15:44:00.003-07:00

I removed the cover at the request of my publisher (I still love it)

I love this cover. It may be my all time favorite. (Although My Unfair Godmother is a close second.) I know I shouldn't say things like that about a cover because it is just tempting fate, or the marketing department, into changing it. They'll email me tomorrow and tell me they've decided to go with dancing cartoon frogs. But for this moment, I am happy.

Now you just have to wait ten more months until you can actually buy the book. Some things are worth the wait though.

Your chance at immortality--or a great gift idea

2011-10-29T17:55:00.002-07:00

The bidding is live! Have your name in one of my books--or in Brandon Mull's, Shannon Hale's, Kiersten White's, Becca Fitzpatrick's, Robin Brande's--or all of them. All proceeds go to Kids Need to Read.

Check it out at:

http://stores.ebay.com/Kids-Need-to-Read

Happy bidding!

More chances to win Slayers

2011-10-24T22:03:00.002-07:00

Fire and Ice is hosting and kicking off the official blog tour for Slayers by C.J.Hill which will run today until Sunday. Each of the 7 blogs participating will be giving away one copy of the book so be sure to visit all the stops.

Monday October 24th- Fire and Ice

Tuesday October 25th- I'm A Reader Not A Writer
http://iamareadernotawriter.blogspot.com/

Wednesday October 26th- Books Complete Me
http://www.bookscompleteme.com/

Thursday Ocotber 27th-Bookalicio.us
http://bookalicio.us/

Friday October 28th- Cari's Book Blog
http://cariblogs.blogspot.com/

Saturday October 29th- Rachael Renee Anderson
http://rachaelreneeanderson.blogspot.com/

Sunday October 30th- Tales of a Ravenous Reader
http://www.lushbudgetproduction.com/

Immortality up for Auction

2011-10-22T22:08:00.003-07:00

(Yeah, I almost wrote immorality up for auction which would have been something completely different and would probably cost you more.)

Anyway, a bunch of authors including yours truly are auctioning off names to use in our books as a fund raiser for Kids Need To Read, a non profit group that provides books for underfunded libraries. The other authors in alphabetical order are:

Robin Brande (Evolution, Me & Other Freaks of Nature; Doggirl), Becca Fitzpatrick (Hush, Hush; Crescendo), Shannon Hale (Princess Academy, The Goose Girl), Brandon Mull (Fablehaven, Beyonders), and Kiersten White (Paranormalcy, Supernaturally).

Personally, I think it would be cool if one person won all the name-bids. Because then confused readers across the country would scratch their heads and wonder why that name kept popping up in books.

If you're looking for a really cool gift for someone (or yourself) look no further.

The auctions will start Saturday, Oct 29. Here's more info:

Touch immortality and go down in literary history! Several critically acclaimed, bestselling authors are auctioning off character names to benefit Kids Need to Read, a national nonprofit foundation that promotes childhood literacy and addresses the crisis in library funding that currently exists in the United States.

If you are one of the winning bidders, you will have a character named after you in an upcoming young adult novel by one of the following participating authors: Robin Brande (Evolution, Me & Other Freaks of Nature; Doggirl), Becca Fitzpatrick (Hush, Hush; Crescendo), Shannon Hale (Princess Academy, The Goose Girl), Brandon Mull (Fablehaven, Beyonders), Janette Rallison (My Unfair Godmother, Slayers), and Kiersten White (Paranormalcy, Supernaturally).

Should you win one of the auctions, the author agrees to use your name in an upcoming book. The character that is bestowed with your name may be a secondary or minor character, may have villainous tendencies, or may die at some point in the book or series. The character may have many or very few of your actual characteristics. The author is simply using the name for a character, not transporting your personality into the book. Also, editors have veto power over any name. (So if your name is Ima Jockstrap, you might be out of luck.) If an editor vetoes your name, you will be entitled to a full refund from Kids Need to Read.

The Kids Need to Read Literary Immortality Auction will take place at our eBay store beginning Saturday, October 29, 2011 and ending Thursday, November 3, 2011. There will be a separate auction for each author. All auctions will run concurrently. Bidders will be able to bid on multiple auctions.

Oh Rats . . . literally

2011-10-15T02:14:00.009-07:00

Sometimes fans give me things. I'm always appreciative. I have a really cool apron, a framed picture of a stone angel, and a Barbie doll made to look like Chrissy that reader friends have given me. This is a perk I never expected when I first started writing, and I always find a special place in the house for such gifts. But lately I got a gift that I'm not sure where to put.

Let me explain. It started with an email conversation my writing friend, Angela Fox, and I were having. She said, "I don't give a rat's tush* what So-N-So** thinks."

(*Not the real word she used)
(**Not the real name she used.)

I wrote back to her, "Well, it's a good thing you don't give a rat's tush what So-N-So thinks, because I clearly remember you promising me all of your rats' tushes."

Sometimes I am witty in my emails like that.

But Angela is always wittier, because at the book launch she showed up and gave me plastic rats all through the event. Some of them were as big as chihuahuas and had scary red eyes. I laughed a lot. People probably thought Angela and I were a little strange, which strictly speaking is true.

I brought the rats home and tried to find a place for them. I must admit I'm having trouble finding the right spot. At first I tried one of the doll cases. (I have three.)

It didn't seem to be a good match. So then I tried the coffee table.

But I thought visitors might not appreciate the rat motif. So then I tried upstairs by the reading angel which sits next to one of the bookcases. (I have eight--but that's not a sign of hoarding because I'm a writer.)

Here you can see some of the smaller rats. They're gray. Knowing that this surface is frequently engulfed in clutter (which is normal because I have five children, and so is not a sign of hoarding tendencies either) I decided to try the rats in my room.
Here they are on my dresser.

As you can see, they didn't work here either. My dolls look distinctly creeped out by the rats. (And yes, even though I have three doll cases, I still can't fit all my dolls into them, which actually may be a symptom of hoarding, but we aren't going to talk about that.)
So, while I try to find a place for the rats, my friendly little dog is doing everything she can to welcome the new editions.

Want a Slayers sticker?

2011-10-07T21:36:00.002-07:00

The Slayers book launch was awesome! I always love meeting fellow book fans. As you can see, during the middle of my presentation I broke out into song, performing several opera medleys.

Okay, not really.

For some reason the pictures my husband takes of me during launches always turn out rather odd looking. (Better make sure you make it to the next book launch to check out what I'm really doing.)

Here I am telling audience members about my cool Slayers bumper stickers. I think everybody should want one of these because if you have a Slayers bumper sticker, the cars behind you will think twice about cutting you off.

If you want your very own Slayers sticker, email me with your name and address at jrallisonfans at yahoo dot com and I'll send you one. (US addresses only. If you're out of the US, you can still get one by sending me a self-addressed envelope.)

Slayers Book launch Oct 4th

2011-10-03T17:25:00.003-07:00

I'm temporarily interrupting the Slayers' book trailer adoration and giveaway to remind you that the Slayers book launch is tomorrow at Changing Hands book store at 7:00 pm 6428 S Mcclintock Dr, Tempe, AZ

Besides telling you all about Slayers and giving out Slayer stickers and posters, I'll be giving away eight of my back titles and you'll find out what your secret dragon-fighting superpower is.

You don't want to miss it!

See you there.

Slayers book trailer and give-away

2011-09-29T23:15:00.001-07:00

This is an awesome book trailer and why I love Matt Morrell. If you're looking for a great trailer, he's your man. (And how many guys do you know who have three sets of double letters in their name?)

Leave a comment on either this blog or on http://cjhillbooks.blogspot.com about your favorite part of the trailer for a chance to win a copy of the book.

Slayers is officially released! My Unfair Godmother and Slayers give-away and

2011-09-26T22:37:00.001-07:00

Yes, that magical day that we've all been waiting for is almost upon us. I'll be talking about Slayers at the Hamilton Library in Chandler on the 28th and the book launch will be at Changing Hands on Oct 4.

I just got my author copies of Slayers today and I have to say the cover looks better in real life than it does on all the pictures I've been posting. The gold lettering is shiny. It's oh so spiffy.

To win it or a copy of My Unfair Godmother (which is also chalked full of awesomeness) do the following: (Just realized that's a pun.)

Leaving a comment on the CJ Hill blog will get you one chance.
Being a follower of the CJ Hill blog will get you another chance.
Announcing this give-away and or posting the cover of Slayers on your blog/facebook/ or twitter and telling your peeps that Slayers is coming out Sept 27 will get you three chances.

Tansy Miller has always felt that her divorced father has never had enough time for her. But mistakenly getting caught on the wrong side of the law wasn' texactly how she wanted to get his attention. Enter Chrysanthemum "Chrissy" Everstar, Tansy's fairy in shining, er, high heels. Chrissy is only a fair godmother, of course, so Tansy's three wishes don't exactly go according to plan. And if bringing Robin Hood to the twenty-first century isn't bad enough for Tansy, being transported back to the Middle Ages to deal with Rumpelstiltskin certainly is. She'll need the help of her blended family, her wits, and especially the cute police chief 's son to stop the gold-spinning story from spinning wildly out of control. Janette Rallison pulls out all the stops in this fresh, fun-filled follow-up to the popular My Fair Godmother.

Give-away: How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-boyfriend & trailer

2011-08-19T11:41:00.006-07:00

I took your advice and with the help of my awesome friend, Angela Fox, I changed the music for the How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-boyfriend trailer.

Let me know what you think of the new music choice.

Also Random.org will choose one of the commenters to win a copy of How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-boyfriend.

Other Downgrades We Should Make

2011-08-12T17:31:00.004-07:00

In light of the S&P downgrade to America’s credit rating, we here at the Rallison Think Tank have been pondering what other things in the world ought to be downgraded. We’ve come up with a list of ten.

1) The Great Salt Lake. It has now been downgraded to: The Average Salt Lake. With that fishy smell, um, it’s really not all that great.

2) Mars. For decades it’s promised us invading Martians with ray guns, but thus far all the planet has produced in the way of scientific interest is the possibility that it once had water. Big deal. We’re downgrading it to: Pluto.

3) Rock stars with royalty names. Sorry Prince and Lady Gaga. Although we like some of your songs and you amuse us with your sparkly clown outfits, you’re still not monarchs. We’re downgrading you to: ‘talented peasants’ status and will refer to you respectively as “Wench Gaga” and “Plow Boy”.

4) California. Its motto says that it’s The Golden State. But with gold prices being what they are, we’re downgrading California to: The Plastic State. It fits better anyway.

5) Las Vegas. For years it has been luring tourists to its casinos with pictures of girls in feathered headdresses and promises that transferring our bank accounts into the slot machines will be fun! But I don’t think so. We’re downgrading Las Vegas from a vacation destination to: A Sauna With Flashing Lights. And we’re changing its name to Loss Vegas.

6) Hershey Kisses. With a name like “Kisses” and a product that is supposedly made of chocolate, you’d think this candy would be something to swoon over. But no. Hershey Kisses actually have a waxy taste, which makes us wonder who Hershey was kissing. We are therefore downgrading Hershey Kisses to: Brown Crayons.

7) The dollar. Due to its buying power, it’s been downgraded and will now be referred to as: A Flammable Quarter.

8) The physical book. It’s not that I don’t love them. I want bookstores to sell lots of physical books. But alas, the experts keep predicting their demise and last I heard, sales were down 40 percent. Therefore we sadly downgrade physical books to: The Hallmark Card Section of the Grocery Store. People who care, still want to send the very best. We will now stop with this analogy as we are sniffling.

9) The Great Wall of China. Okay it’s big and impressive but did it ever really stop anybody from invading? Therefore we’re downgrading it to: The Longest Tourist Site Ever Created By Man.

10) Congress. We’re downgrading it to: A Reality Show. And we wish it wasn’t our reality that it was messing up.

A book trailer question

2011-08-07T19:41:00.002-07:00

Hello my blogworld friends. I decided to have a book trailer for one of my backlist books, How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-boyfriend (With the hope that eventually I'll have trailers made for all of them.) and since I couldn't find an upbeat song that I liked and that had words that matched, I told my rent-a-teen Andie, to just use the instrumental for You've Got My Heart.

I think it turned out cute, but my daughter pointed out that after the trailer for Ex-boyfriend is played on Youtube, the next one that comes up is My Unfair Godmother, which uses the vocal of the same song. She thinks it seems unprofessional to use the same song for both trailers.

I'm going back and forth as to whether or not she's right. So what do you think? Can you watch both trailers and tell me whether you think I should have Ex-boyfriend's redone with a new song?

If you missed the call on writing romance

2011-07-29T08:31:00.002-07:00

You can still hear it by going to this link: http://authorsadvisory.blogspot.com/2011/07/20-janette-rallison-romance-romance.html

Please ignore all those instances when I sound like I'm drunk. Really, there is no better way to make yourself tounge-tied than to know you are being recorded and the recording will be available forever and ever.

The book thieves book reviews--and a conference call

2011-07-23T01:21:00.004-07:00

I've heard from more than one teacher that books frequently go missing from their classroom libraries. Personally, I think it's a compliment. (This is because I'm not paying for the books.) Kids liked the novels so much that they resorted to a life of crime in order to possess them.

My daughter made a collage of all the books that went missing from her class last school year. I think she sent the picture out to parents to see if they had spotted any of the wayward books at their homes. I passed on a lot of books to her that I didn't like so much, and yeah, none of those got stolen, which just proves that even thieves have taste.

I am very proud that two of my books were among those stolen!

And in other news, I'm going to do a conference call about writing romance next Wednesday, the 27th. I'll post more info about that here when I get it.

Why Disney villains should be nervous at the Grand Canyon.

2011-07-15T00:46:00.012-07:00

Have you ever noticed that an inordinate amount of Disney villains meet their doom by falling from high places? The wicked queen from Snow White was the first, but by no means the last. Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, the evil queen from Enchanted, and Mother Gothel from Tangled all bit the dust that way. Shan Yu form Mulan flew off on a rocket, so we can assume there was some falling involved with his demise as well.

Of course not all Disney villains die exactly that way. Disney likes to mix things up once in awhile. Scar from The Lion King fell and then got eaten by hyenas. The film Mega Mind started with Mega Mind falling to earth and then the movie went on to tell about his formative years and all of the events that led to his fall. I'm sure I’m missing many other Disney fallers, but according to the first website I saw after I googled the phrase: “How many films has Disney produced?” there are 318 Disney movies and one cannot be expected to remember all the grisly deaths.

Suffice it to say, falling is a popular way to end one’s existence.

What does that have to do with my recent vacation, you may ask. I’ll tell you. The Rallison clan just went to The Grand Canyon and Bryce Canyon--which is still pretty darn grand even if it doesn’t use the word in the title. Some canyons are modest that way.

Here we are smiling at the start of our trip. There are signs that tell you to be careful when you turn your back on the canyon to take pictures, as this is how most people fall in. They forget how close they are to the edge and take a step backward. We made sure we were far away from the edge.

Here is a picture of what looks like my middle daughter lovingly putting her hand on her little sister’s shoulder.

I'm pretty sure Middle Daughter is doing this as a way to make sure Youngest Daughter doesn’t do a Disney Villain and plunge off the side. Youngest daughter has no built-in fear gage and is much too daring.

Middle Daughter has already saved Youngest Daughter’s life once. When Youngest Daughter was about four we were walking along Newport Beach and a rogue wave nearly carried Youngest Daughter out to sea. Thankfully, Middle Daughter was standing nearby and grabbed Youngest Daughter before she was swept away. Youngest Daughter laughed with delight during this incident but Middle Daughter and I remain traumatized to this day.

At any rate, one has to watch Youngest Daughter very carefully.

So then of course the next thing we did was go horseback riding at Bryce Canyon. This was perhaps not the cautious thing to do since the last time we rode horses, Youngest Daughter’s horse bit Middle Daughter’s horse which caused a horse fight in which there was actual rodeo-like bucking.

Somehow this didn’t dim Youngest Daughter’s love of horses. Middle Daughter, however, refused to go on a horseback ride anywhere near a canyon.

Here is a picture of Youngest Son by the edge of Bryce Canyon.

When we got to this point, I was beginning to agree with Middle Daughter about the whole horse/canyon thing, but by then it was too late. My horse went right to the edge to eat the grass growing there.

One side note about my horse: His name was Zero. I thought that was an odd name until I mounted him and he proceeded to walk around the corral putting his face into the other horses' butts. Then I realized zero was the amount of friends he had.

So there I was on the edge of Bryce Canyon, my horse happily munching on grass, and all the other horses followed him, thus boxing him in. He turned sideways, walked a few steps, then turned his back on the Canyon.

This is when I realized that not only was I on a horse with no social skills, he couldn't read either. It was entirely possible that he was going to take an unintentional step backward. Or one of the other horses might have been fed up with his butt-nudging antics and decided to push him over. Heaven knows, if I were one of those horses, I would have been tempted.

Which is why I was very glad that I have never been a Disney Villain.

I lived to vacation another day.

And no, this picture isn't photoshopped. This is the sort of thing gymnasts do.

The next manuscript status

2011-07-04T23:40:00.003-07:00

I finally finished my next manuscript, Hunters and Hunted. I think this is the only book that has taken me over a year to write. It was my default manuscript—meaning, I wrote on it during those rare times when I was in between revision letters or copy edits from two different publishers. (By the way, I’m now writing for another publisher too. Harper bought Time Riders. More on that in a later blog)

So, while I’ve been waiting for Harper’s revision letter, I finished Hunters and Hunted. This was harder than one might imagine because Hunters and Hunted took a ton of research. My main character spends quite a bit of time in Boston—some of the time being pursued by the antagonist, so I had to plot out a course for her using Google street view. I now love Google street view, as it saved me a trip to Boston. (Oh wait, maybe a trip to Boston would have been fun. Dang!)

I’m a little nervous about how readers will react to Hunters and Hunted . It's quite different from my usual romantic comedies. This book isn’t a comedy at all. In fact, people are killed by flesh-eating scarabs. (More on why I wrote it, later.)

Here are the first reviews:

My mom: “It was great! I read it twice!” (Of course, one must take into account, that she is my mother and loves everything I do. She also told me I was the prettiest girl in my school.)

My husband:” It was good. I liked it.” This as much enthusiasm as he ever musters for any of my books. He generally only reads nonfiction.

Middle Daughter’s review (well, at least the review of the last chapter): “FINALLY one of your characters turned away from a kiss. Usually it’s, ‘I don't want to kiss you but you make me feel wanted!’ mwah mwah mwah.” (Those are kissy sounds.)

I was actually surprised by Middle Daughter’s review. I wanted to say, “My characters aren’t like that.” But then I thought about it. Maybe they are. I’m not going to analyze what this means about me though, because it might mean that as a teenager I kissed far too many boys far too quickly. And I’ll never admit to that.

Now I’m waiting for my agent’s review . . .

A fairy good school visit

2011-06-26T22:12:00.007-07:00

I did a lot of book events last year. I spoke at three conferences, a book festival, and the ALAN convention in Orlando. I had a blast at all of it, but there is just something extra fun about doing school visits and getting to meet the students who read my books. Here are some pictures of my last school visit of the year at the awesome Sonrise Christian School in California.

All of you guys out there who want to be writers--this is the payback for all of those long days when you don't have time to shower and the even worse days when you get the revision letters and wonder why on earth you keep doing this to yourself when you clearly would be happier as a truck driver. Not that I think that . . . very often . . .

Look, I'm on the sign:
This is a picture librarian Sandi Lehnhard sent me before the visit. It's always a good sign when kids are reading your books before you come to speak to them.

And here is a group of awesome kids who will go far in life. I know this because they already have impeccable taste in literature.

They made a special Fairy Godmother smoothie in my honor. And it was really yummy. It's probably a good thing I don't have access to more of these, or I wouldn't fit into my school-visit-black-pants come next fall.

I keep this fairy wand on my dresser next to my Beanie Baby stork. But then, my dresser is a subject for a whole nother blog. (And yes, I realize that the phrase 'whole nother' is bad grammar. But I refuse to pay attention to the rules of grammar until they make sense. This will include an apology for putting an 'H' in the word 'which' when the word 'sandwich' doesn't have one. Also someone will need to explain why recipe isn't pronounced re-cipe.)

Anyway, it was a good end to the school year.

More Doll Wrecks

2011-06-19T16:11:00.015-07:00

Since it's Fathers Day, I could do something on power tools, but no, I'm going to do a blog on children (They make fathers, after all) well, more specifically fake children. Also known as dolls. Those of you who know me, know that I have a doll thing. I'm especially impressed--and horrified by reborn dolls. They're supposed to look lifelike and at any given time there are hundreds on eBay going for hundreds of dollars. Here are some examples of some good ones so you know what they're supposed to look like:

Amazing, huh? Beautiful, right?

I want to hug and coo over these dolls. So you can see why they can go for a lot of money on auction sites. That said, there are a lot of dolls on eBay that just don't seem to capture what reborn dolls are supposed to be. In the constructive criticism of the Cake Wrecks blog, I want to offer a few words of advice to doll painters.

My words for this one are, "No. No. No." What were we going for? Demon child perhaps? Gollum's offspring?

Another word of advice: Blush is nice, but if you use too much of it, people will look at your doll and want to call child protective services.

Yeah, that would be too much of the red stuff.

There seems to be a new trend to have baby dolls open-mouthed and crying. This is another place where the words, "No. No. No." come to mind.

Here's another No:

And here's the baby that ate Detroit:

And here's one for every parent who wants their child to grow up to be a circus clown. Or an elf.

Oh, one last word of advice to doll makers: Lips are not optional. Your doll really should have them. I mean, blankets can only hide so much.

Well, I bet at this point you're all thinking how beautiful your children are, because they look nothing like these last dolls. So true. Really, reborn dolls offer society a valuable service.

The Land of Happy Teenagers.

2011-06-12T17:47:00.012-07:00

Those of you who have teenagers, or work with teenagers, or ever went to high school--I want you to think for a moment what your average group of teenagers look like when they're hanging out. Got an image in your mind?

I currently have three children of the teenage persuasion. At any particular point in time, one is ignoring me, one is rolling his/her eyes, and one is fighting with the other two. Or sleeping. Sometimes they also eat the left over pizza without saving me any.

I've been looking for pictures of teenagers to use for my book trailer for Slayers. I need pictures of teens who look a little suspicious, maybe even a little dangerous.

Shutterstock has approximately 5 gazillion pictures, many of teens, so I didn't think it would be a problem. Here are the sorts of pictures I found that show teens hanging out.

Yeah, that's the sort of thing my kids and their friends do all of the time.

Oh, and here's a typical day at high school.

Yep, that's what high school was like for me.

Where exactly do I send my children to turn them into these happy people photobanks show teens being?

So then I typed in upset teens. The pictures still don't work for the trailer, but I think these three photos could make a good picture book called, One Day You Will Go To Junior High

Yeah, those last three pretty much sum up the teenage years . . .

Finding the perfect fantasy name

2011-06-04T03:22:00.008-07:00

Dave Farland, fantasy author extraordinaire, says that authors should never just choose their fantasy names randomly. They need to have resonance. Therefore, to come up with a good fantasy name for your character/place/animal group/whatever-the-heck-you're-naming you need to have a process. Dave suggests listing words that convey the main idea, and then combining them to come up with a new name.

For example, George Lucas may have used the words: death, dearth, and invader to come up with the name: Darth Vader.

JK Rowling probably did something similar when she came up with name Draco Malfoy. Draco means dragon, the foy sorta of sounds like annoy, and Mal in Spanish means bad (and if I weren't so lazy, I'd check to see if the root is actually Latin--after all, we have words like malevolent, malpractice,and Maleficent. Okay, Maleficent is actually the wicked queen in Disney's Sleeping Beauty, but you can see they totally did the same thing to come up with her name. Mal plus magnificent equals Maleficent.)

I was glad to learn this naming trick since I randomly picked several names when I wrote my science fiction novel, Time Riders. Not long ago, I rewrote the book for the national market (I'll hopefully have news about that next week) and I figured I would do the whole naming thing right this time.

I needed a name for a group of thugs who live outside the city and who kill anyone who isn't well armed. Here's how it worked for me:

Outlaws + Gangsters = Outsters . . . Nope. But the name would work for a cool rock band.

Gangsters + Hoodlums = Ganglums . . . Sounds like a gum disease you get if you don't floss.

Gangsters + Robbers = Ganglers . . . Nah,this one sounds like things that dangle in spiderwebs.

Bandits + Robbers = Bandlers . . . This happens when the clarinet section goes bad.

Bandits + Hoodlums = Bandlums . . . Ditto.

Outlaws + horror = Orrers . . . Either people who row boats or a British person swearing.

Weeds + evil = weevils . . . I get these in my flour sometimes, and they are nasty.

Grief + evil + robbers = Greevers . . . Hmm. Didn't James Dashner use this term for his monsters in Maze Runner? I wonder how he came up with the term.

vikings + robbers = Vikers . . . Success. And I'm not just saying this because every other combination was ridiculous or already in a James Dashner novel. I like Vikers. In fact, I like it so much that I already used it in the original version of Time Riders. It was an insult. So basically, yeah, after this whole exercise, I just ended up stealing from myself.

Authors are totally like that.

AZ peeps--free writing workshop and fundraiser

2011-05-31T14:07:00.004-07:00

You know how Just One Wish is about a little boy who has cancer? This is one time when I wish my art didn't mirror real life. Adam is a four-year old who is battling leukemia.

So some local authors are putting on a writing workshop and fundraiser for this darling little boy. We'll be talking about setting, dialogue, and plot

When: Thursday June 2nd, 2011 from 2:00 pm until 4:00 pm.

Where: A+ Book Fairs Warehouse in Gilbert, Arizona on 45 E. Sunway Drive.

$1.00 from each book sold by the authors at this event will be given to the Adam McCain Medical Expense Fund.

•Janette Rallison is the award winning author of 17 novels and has sold over a million books. Her novels have been on many reading and state lists including IRA Young Adults’ Choices List. Her latest release is My Unfair Godmother. Janette will teach dialogue with a hands-on writing exercise.

•Angela Morrison is the author of Sing Me to Sleep and the Taken by Storm Trilogy. Her newest release is Cayman Summer. She will teach a fun interactive plot exercise where participants create characters and have them interact with each other.

•Lisa Finder is the author of Black Sand and the founder of White Lions Foundation. She will teach a setting exercise using Popsicle sticks.

There will also be some sort of raffle/drawing for books.

Hope to see you there!

Random things I've learned while researching Hunters and Hunted

2011-05-23T17:41:00.004-07:00

The cool thing about writing is that I'm always learning something new--whether I want to or not. This is because my characters have much more interesting lives than I do. They travel around, have talents, hobbies, stuff like that.

I'm working on a really cool book called Hunters and Hunted. In it, my character goes to Antarctica, Boston, Egypt, and England. I was actually planning a trip to Egypt, because I've always wanted to go and this seemed like the perfect excuse.

But yeah, now there's all that social unrest.

So once again it's me and a bunch of books and the internet. But here are some cool things I've learned so far:

Ramesses the Great had red hair. How cool is that? He had something in common with Henry the Eighth--besides the fact that they both had a lot of wives. Ramesses had over a hundred children. Henry had what? Just Elizabeth? (I'm not researching the Middle Ages right now, so I don't know.)Still,

You have to fight a lot of wars to be considered "the Great". Ramesses the Second (Of Moses fame) had the title and so did Alexander. Everybody else is just, you know, So-So.

There are approximately a ka-jillion species of beetles on the earth. Some scarabs will fly for up to ten miles to find their favorite kind of poop to eat. The ancient Egyptians thought that all scarabs were male. Can you blame them? I mean, would you expect girl beetles to eat poop? I bet scarabs also have burping contests and scratch themselves in public.

Paul Revere didn't actually ride through the streets of Boston yelling, "The British are coming!" It would have been very foolish if he had, as most of the people at the time considered themselves to be British.

Things I still need to research:

How long Boston blocks are. I'm not sure if they're really short like New York blocks or really long like Arizona ones.

If there are surveillance cameras in the Oxford libraries.

What the security is like at the Great Pyramids (Oh, that's another way you can be great: be bigger than all the other pyramids)and the Valley of the Kings. Do they have security guards patrolling the area?

If you happen to know any of these facts, please let me know.

More Book Trailer Music

2011-05-13T12:42:00.003-07:00

It’s time to make a book trailer for the next book in the queue. I’ve spent two days listening to over a hundred and fifty different sound tracks and have learned one very important thing. When you listen non stop to action/adventure soundtracks you lose all objectivity about them.

At first they all sounded too urgent and too noble. They brought to mind Frodo and Aragorn fleeing on horses in Middle Earth. Then I was thinking, no, these are actually all good. So now I'm turning it over to you, my objective blogg fans, to tell me if any of them work.

Slayers isn't one of my usual romantic comedies. True there are some funny parts and my heroine is often snarky, but it's really an adventure. Here's the script for the book trailer thus far:

17 years ago, a dragon keeper secretly brought a pair of dragon eggs through the DC area.

It was a mistake.

Because the dragons emit a pulse that turns certain children into dragon slayers.

Tori doesn’t know why she’s always had a fascination with dragons. They’re not something a socialite, senator’s daughter is supposed to be interested in.

But she finally convinces her parents to let her go to Dragon Camp.

She finds a group of teens who are keeping secrets,

and playing games,

and risking their lives to protect DC.

She has to find her power before the dragon finds her.

Slayers

Here are the background music choices:

http://audiojungle.net/item/movie-trailer-credits-intro/156037

I like this one because it feels more like an actual song then just a building crescendo. (But then, maybe I need a building crescendo?)

http://audiojungle.net/item/cinematic-metal-trailer/176324

Although I'm not a fan of anything heavy metal, and routinelly make my eldest son turn it off and then give him lectures on screechy-devil-music, I sorta like the brief switch to heavy metal in this piece. If it was timed right to come in on the secrets/games/saving DC part it would be a nice emphasis.

http://audiojungle.net/item/cinematic-pack/126710

This one is actually three songs put together, and it is a tribute to my sudden unobjectivity that I'm like, hmmm, maybe that one would work . . . or that one. Or maybe Trailerbook can just mix and match parts of the music to match the words. I really don't know anymore.

So let me know what you think.

And thank you, thank you, for weighing in.

The Whitney Awards 2011

2011-05-09T22:59:00.006-07:00

I'm back from a week of school visits, conference, and the Whitney Awards. All in all, it was great, except that--long story involving a car that rearended me--I had to pack with a concussion. This is not an ideal packing method since your brain is spitting out random neurons like a pinwheel in a windstorm instead of telling your hands what to pack. I forgot several things I needed, including my camera. But awesome photographer, Erin Summerril just posted this loser photo.

After every Whitney Award ceremony, while the winners are off basking in their glory, the losers gather up the extra desserts and pose for their own photo. We are sad. Except for Susan Corpany and Jeff Savage who have clearly just keyed the winners' cars.

But you can see that Sarah Eden, Traci Hunter Abramson, James Dashner and I are all feeling the general amount of excitement you get when you lose a Whitney. I especially love the sneer on James's face. If you click on the picture, you can see it better.

I will post more pictures of the event, just as soon as I can steal them from Erin. (Love yout, girlfriend!)

Vote for the Worst Song Pick-up Lines: The Enrique Award

2011-04-25T23:26:00.002-07:00

At my last writing critique group, we were sitting around talking about bad song lyrics. My friend, Melinda, told me that Enrique Iglesias's song I want to Love You Tonight actually was called I want to--insert the crassest term you can think of here--You Tonight. I looked it up on Youtube, and yep, she was right. (Side note: Enrique Iglesias and Paris Hilton are proof that nobody should grow up rich and famous.)

The amazing thing to me is why anybody would write a song with those lyrics. I mean, what half-educated and moderately sane man thinks this is the way to impress women?

Unfortunately, Enrique isn't alone in his horrible lyrics. In fact, I'm going to start a new blog tradition called the Enrique Awards. The award will be given to songs with the worst pick-up lines ever.

I have five contenders for the first award, taken from songs from the last few years. Blog commenters, you will choose the winner.

Entry number 1
Ticks by Brad Paisley

Okay, we never expected country music to be sophisticated poetry, but there's a limit to what country songs can get away with, and this song sadly reached it with the lyrics: I'd like to check you for ticks. How romantic. As long as your at it, check for lice too.

Entry number 2
Baby by Justin Beiber

Justin is adorable. I want to wrap him up in a box and take him home. For some reason, he brings to mind that Shawn Cassidy crush I had as a teen. But these lyrics don't work: I want to play it cool, but I'm losing you. I'll buy you anything, I'll buy you any ring.

Um, come again?

This song is about a guy who is trying to buy a girl's love? Because that's what you want in a girlfriend--someone who's willing to stay with you if the money is good enough.

Entry number 3
In My Head by Jason Derulo

I love this song. Catchy tune, awesome beat, and if you want to sing something that will embarrass your teenage children, look no further! But someone needs to take Jason aside and explain a few things about women to him; as evidenced by the lines: Some dudes know all the right things to say. When it comes down to it, it's all just game. Instead of talking, let me demonstrate. Get down to business and skip foreplay.

Jason, my friend, you need to talk to one of those dudes who know all the right things to say--because this isn't it. And that's why all of this is going to stay in your head.

Entry number 4
I Need You Now by Lady Antebellum

I know, I know, this song was song of the year, or some such thing, but that still doesn't make the lyrics good.

It's a quarter after one; I'm a little drunk and I need you now. Translation: I love you, but only when I'm drunk enough.

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now. Translation: That restraining order doesn't apply after midnight, does it?

Entry number 5
I added this one just to show that girls can sing horrible pick-up lines too.

Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls

(Okay, this is a representational picture of the pussycat dolls, since the girls on the cover of the actual album didn't look like freaks, they looked more like, um, hookers.)

So how about those great lyrics:Don't ya wish your girlfriend was a freak, like me?

We can safely assume not. Last time we checked, there were more than enough freaky women to go around for everyone who wanted one. Women with intelligence and class--those are a little harder to come by.

Maybe we should write songs about those types of women.

So those are the contenders for the Enrique Award. Place your vote!

Book launch photos and fairy visitors

2011-04-16T00:26:00.009-07:00

It always cracks me up to see pictures of myself while I'm presenting. I'm sure these facial expressions made sense at the time, but looking at them after the fact, you have to wonder what I was saying.
Here I am clearly explaining just how the eensy weensy spider got up the water spout.

Anyway, it all went well and I met lots of awesome people. Here are some:
Awesome!

And of course all the cool fairys dropped by.

Fairies are big readers

and writers.

And this is, of course, how I will be writing my next novel--by magic wand.

My Unfair Godmother is here!

2011-04-12T00:34:00.003-07:00

Or at least it should be. If it's not, you should stand around your local bookstore and in a loud voice say, "I demand you get me a copy of My Unfair Godmother forthwith!"

It's 12:35 AM. Just for the heck of it I went on to Amazon to see my sales rank. It's at 32,854 which is actually better than I expected. There are already nine used copy for sale. Where do these people get their copies? Mine are supposed to show up tomorrow. Are Walker interns pocketing the books or something?

Anyway, today's give-away is a copy of My Unfair Godmother--complete with a bonus mistake left over from the whole straw/hay debacle.

Here's the deal. My good buddy, Random.org, and I will choose a winner at the end of each day. (The end of each day depends on when I go to bed, so comment early.) Commenting will get you one chance. If you're also a follower you get two chances (be sure to tell me you're a follower in your comment), and if you put something about this giveaway on your blog or facebook status you get four chances. (Put the link to your post in your comment.)

***But today in order to get the extra points for blogging/tweeting/facebook statusing you need to have something that says the book is released today. Oh, and you can comment on Facebook, Goodreads, or my website blog. I will be counting all of those comments.

May the Random.org be with you!

Give-away and Very Cool Book Trailer

2011-03-29T21:09:00.003-07:00

Okay, yes, I know I've sort of messed up the whole orderly system of give-aways that I was trying to do. I've learned that one shouldn't do give-aways when one is traveling around the country as you never know what the Internet situation is going to be. Seriously, today when I tried to open my email, it told me I had a mailbox full of messages from 12/31/2069. Apparently I've been time traveling

(And I'm way behind mailing the said books to my winners--sorry about that, they will get to you!)

But before I list the next give-aways, you need to look at my awesome new book trailer. It sparkles! I love it. (I am still thinking of putting one version out with the other music though)

If you're interested in getting a book trailer made yourself (I know some of you followers are writers too) go to his website at trailerbook.net and fill out an information form. He does book trailers from cheap to expensive (mine was mid-range)

Anyway, so the books on the give-away schedule are: signed copies of Black Sand, by Lisa Finder and Haunts Haven, by Joan Sowards. These are copies of books that I bought from other authors while I was doing book signings.

Leave a comment for one chance, tell me you're a follower for two, if you include a blog/facebook/twitter link about the give-away it's four chances, and if you follow me on twitter it's five.

Until tomorrow--Internet providers providing--I'll chat with you again.

Internet Problems

2011-03-26T12:14:00.004-07:00

Just for the record, I wanted to let you know I tried to pick a winner last night or rather, at 4:00 a.m. That was the time we finally got situated in our hotel room after our flight was delayed for hours coming out of Phoenix.

Ah, the joys of flying.

(But lest there be any of those Internet thieves we're always being warned about, I must add here that there are currently more people at my house than would normally be there, along with my vicious gaurd dogs and troops of ninja cats.)

But even at the late/early hour, I tried to get online to pick a blog winner. Unfortunately, my lap top couldn't pick up any networks, despite the fact that it was sitting two inches away from a sign that read: Free WiFi!

Ah, the joys of technology.

So then we had to get up five hours later to go to my nieces wedding. (Congrats Michelle! Yeah, I'm sure she's taking time to read my blog today.)

Anywho, so today's winners are late, and because of that I'm choosing two winners for the ARC. See my friends, sometimes bad technology can work in your favor.

(typed by nephew Marc Hemeon on his iPhone follow him on twitter @Hemeon)

My Unfair Godmother ARC giveaway/ weigh in on the song

2011-03-01T08:24:00.004-07:00

I'm having a book trailer done for My Unfair Godmother, and I have to say it's going to be awesome. I'm having special effects. Things sparkle. I can hardly wait to show it to you. But first I need to choose background music. I'm torn between two different songs, both by the very talented Tim McMorris. One has lyrics, one doesn't. I like the song with lyrics better, (It's a love song about taking an adventure) but I worry that if people are listening to the words they won't be reading those few sentences on the trailer. (Obviously I didn't worry about this before. All of my other trailers have lyrics.)

And the instramental is also a great song.

So here's the ARC giveaway deal. Listen to the links for both songs and tell me which you like better. Random.org will choose one of the commenters to give the ARC to.

Oh, and by the way, that female voice that pops in every few seconds and says, "Audio Jungle," that's just Audiojungle's way of keeping you from stealing the song. That won't be on the trailer.

http://audiojungle.net/item/successful-business-venture/154097

Or

http://audiojungle.net/item/youve-got-my-heart/157876

Top Ten Jury Duty excuses

2011-02-23T13:24:00.005-07:00

I have to say that some people use some pretty unimaginative excuses for getting out of jury duty. Things like, “I can’t speak English.” And “It would create a financial hardship.” And “I’m a police officer.” Come on, people. It’s not like you’re ever going to see the judge again. (At least we can hope not, because hey, wouldn’t that be ironic?) So here’s a list of reasons with a bit more imagination.

1) I have a very important World or Warcraft quest to finish and my guild is depending on me.

2) I committed a felony, I just wasn’t caught.

3) I’m psychic and so I already know the outcome of the trial.

4) Pick me! Pick me!

5) Yes, I know the defendant, and the prosecutor, and the bailiff. I know ALL of you!

6) My entourage needs me.

7) Can you repeat that, Judge? I’m twittering the whole thing.

8) Can I be impartial? As long as impartial means any fool can see the man is guilty.

9) I’m a writer. By nature we’re shiftless, unreliable, and we make stuff up for a living.

10) What was that, Your Honor? I’m busy updating my blog.

What not to give her for Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T11:06:00.004-07:00

Perhaps it's just my husband who needs help picking out Valentine's gifts, (which is why I buy my own. Thanks Dear, for the lovely doll!) but in the interest of helping men everywhere, I am putting together a list of things not to buy your loved one. These are items I found when I googled Valentine's Day gifts.

It should go without saying that you shouldn't buy your sweetheart holiday themed toilet paper. (What says true love better than restroom items?) It's nice that you love me from top to bottom, but not that bottom. And while I'm listing things, also forgo any Kleenex that says, "You blow my mind!"

Yes, stuffed animals can be cute--and even appropriate if your loved one happens to be in junior high. For women older than that, no. Just resist the urge to buy one of these things. And whatever you do, don't go for the more bizarre stuffed animals like this one:

Happy Valentine's Day! I want to bite your head off!

And this? Only if your girlfriend is in medical school.

If you tell your loved one that you're giving her a diamond, it had better not be one of these--or you might not want to stand behind her car. Just saying.

And if you give her this, it had better turn into a prince after she kisses it. And the prince should look like George Clooney.

And to end this list--I'm not even sure what this picture is, but I somehow find it very touching that the restroom symbols will be spending a romantic day together. I hope you are so lucky.

Doll Wrecks

2011-02-06T21:23:00.017-07:00

Anyone who's ever been to my house knows that I have a thing for dolls. Baby dolls, fashion dolls, American Girl Dolls. Truth be told, my daughter’s Magic Attic dolls have better wardrobes than I do—and more expensive ones too. But that’s a completely different subject.

The point is, I occasionally look at dolls on the Internet. You can find some dolls that are works of art on eBay, and they fetch artwork prices. For example, take a look at this one of kind “reborn” doll that is currently going for 820.00

Amazing right? Or how about this one?

I’m convinced some of the artists are just snapping pictures of their kids and posting them as dolls. But some of the one-of-a-kind dolls aren’t as charming as the first two I’ve shown you. In the constructive spirit of the Cake Wreck blog I'd like to offer some don'ts to the doll artists of the world.

Don't make your baby doll look like it is posing for a mug shot. This doll brings to mind all of those pictures of celebrities who are being carted off to jail for drunken behaviour. Is that the role model we want for Junior? I think not.

Don't make your dolls look like they are some sort of half-human half-alien cross breed. One can't help but think that these dolls might come to life sometime during the night and zap you back to their mother ship.

Crying dolls can be cute, but there is a difference between a few pleasantly pouty tears and a face that is scrunched up like the doll is suffering from a ruptured spleen. Really, this is not a moment in childhood that I would want to capture and keep.

My cousin once told me that all babies looked cuter if they had hair. Sadly, this is not true with dolls. There are some things hair is not going to fix. Like this next one.

And sometimes hair can actually make a doll look worse. Take for example, this one:
Yeah, he sort of looks like the Little Dutch Boy who has been seeing far too much of Little Debbie, Betty Crocker, and Captain Crunch.

And for the next doll . . .

All I can say is, "What the heck?!!" What is this even supposed to be? An impressionistic version of a baby doll? A broken mold? A method to scare young women into not having children?

And speaking of those horrible nightmares you have when you're pregnant where you dream you give birth to a goat, or kitten, or some other creature you weren't supposed to have--we don't need this sort of thing, doll artists, we really don't, so stop with the reborn monkeys. They're just creepy. That's why the makers of the Wizard of Oz gave monkeys wings and used them to terrorize Dorothy and generations of young viewers.

Okay pregnant women, look away, breathe deeply and tell yourself that you will give birth to a beautiful baby, not a furry creature or a half-alien spawn. I promise you it won't happen. And just so that you can get those images out of your mind, I'll post a picture of my one-of-a-kind artist created doll. But sorry eBay shoppers. He's not for sale.

In which I get interviewed in wings

2011-01-31T10:47:00.001-07:00

Singing Lady Gaga, caught in a bad romance novel.

2011-01-21T22:20:00.006-07:00

Maybe I’m just getting old (okay, there’s no maybe about it) but the last few paranormal romances I’ve read have really bugged me.

I’m not going to name names here—and I’m not bashing the paranormal genre. After all, one of the stories I’m working on is a paranormal romance. But I swear certain authors just took the Twilight characters, put a coat of varnish on them, and dropped them into their own novels. Hey, if it worked once, it’s bound to work again, right?

And okay, I can enjoy a Where-Have-The-Twilight-Characters-Popped-Up-Now book as well as anybody else. But there is one aspect of these novels that drives me crazy. I can buy paranormal beings and their assorted powers: vampires, werewolves, fairies, dragons, your basic undead sorts of guys and gals, whatever. The romance in these books, however, is too unbelievable. Here is the romance plot of these books in an ultra condensed version.

Guy walks in. Girl seems him. He’s hot. Really, really hot. Other girls are drooling but hot guy likes our heroine. In fact, he instantly loves her, which works out well, because she instantly and passionately loves him too. Why? We don’t know. Neither of these characters knows anything about the other except that they are eternally and irrevocably in love with each other. Oh, and at some point the girl learns that the guy has a dark, tormented side. This may or may not involve killing things. No matter, it’s love. They make-out a lot.

The guy buys the girl expensive gifts, watches her when she doesn’t know he’s there, and does other things that could classify him as a stalker. But it’s okay because he’s really, really hot.

Their love is so certain that a bad paranormal character wants to destroy the girl to hurt the guy. At this point in the book, I’m wondering why he cares since it's very easy for him to fall in love with near strangers.

Villain is conquered, but all is not well because guy and girl are sort of different species.

Maybe I’m just cynical in my old age, but that all-consuming-love-even-though-I-hardly-know-you just doesn’t seem believable to me.

I should probably go back and study Twilight and see why the love story worked for me in that book and doesn’t in the Almost-Twilight books.

Either that, or I need to incorporate that sort of love story into my paranormal romance. Come to think of it, the Almost-Twilight books have done pretty well . . . You and me, baby, we could write a bad romance.

Just wondering . . . and a Changing Hands Event

2011-01-14T21:33:00.005-07:00

So I was looking through my daughter's latest Scholastic flyer and I saw this book by Stuart Gibbs. Is it just me, or did the rest of you suddenly wonder whether George and Martha had wandered into a bad neighborhood?

I bet it was George. He did, after all, have that gold tooth.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm going to be at this year's YAllapalooza on January 29th, at 4pm with a bunch of cool authors. Here's more info:

Changing Hands Bookstore presents YAllapalooza 2011, a literary extravaganza for tween and teen readers featuring free pizza, games, prizes and chance to mix and mingle with your favorite YA authors! We'll have a live game show that tests contestants' knowledge of young adult and middle-grade literature with games guaranteed to amaze and amuse. Attending authors include Lisa Mangum, Bree Despain, Karen Hoover, Cameron Stracher, Jessica Day George, Obert Skye, Janette Rallison, James Owen, Angela Morrison, Tom Leveen, Jon Lewis, Adam Rex, Laurie Brooks, Lisa McMann, and Kofi O. Okyere.

6428 S McClintock Dr, Tempe, AZ 85283

Come if you can!

Which reality show should your favorite princess be on?

2011-01-07T08:50:00.008-07:00

A lot of reality shows have a sort of train wreck appeal to them. It's like a view into the underside of society.

But it occurred to me that it isn't just the Maury Povich Show rejects who end up on these shows. In fact, some people that you know, love, and grew up with could qualify as candidates. The Little Mermaid: Sure, her voice could put her on American Idol, but she's also got a dirty little secret that could land her on Hoarders.
Yeah, Ariel, your collection is more than complete.

Or how about Snow White? That frantic rush through the forest as she ran away from the Queen's huntsman could have been an episode of ManTracker. Or maybe she could do a spin off of Kate Plus Eight.
Snow Plus Seven. It could work.

Here are some other likely pairings.

Aladdin: Cops
Sleeping Beauty: Mystery Diagnosis
Jasmine: The Bachelorette
Beauty: Mr. Personality (Okay, probably most of you never watched this TV show, but I actually liked the premise, even if those dorky masks did make all the guys look like super villains.)
So who are your pics for the best celebrity pairings with reality TV?

What you could have gotten for Christmas

2010-12-30T23:32:00.009-07:00

One of the harsh realities about Christmas is that you always end up getting something that you would never have bought for yourself. If you're really lucky, it's some decorative thing that you have to put up in your house somewhere because the giver will visit and wonder where it is.

But don't fret. It could always be worse. For example, your loved ones could have gotten you an Obama Chia Pet. Isn't America great? Where else could children dream about growing up to have their face on a Chia Pet?

Or how about these lovelies:

They're Worry Kitties. You're supposed to whisper your worry to one of the sympathetic Worry Kitties and then tuck the adorable critter 'neath your pillow before you go to sleep, and in the morning your worry will be gone!

Is it just me, or do the rest of you think that if you put one of these underneath your pillow, it would come to life sometime during the night and gnaw your ear off? That's what I'd worry about.

Need something even creepier? How about skeleton yard gnomes. Really, I am trying to imagine the new-product-meeting where some genius came up with this idea.

And who doesn't need a solar powered waving queen figurine? (At least they didn't make her into a chia pet.)

My last aren't-you-glad-you-didn't-get-it-gift will need a bit of explanation. I love dolls and spend far too much time on eBay perusing through doll listings. I especially love looking at the reborn dolls. This is not a religious movement, but a way of painting dolls into one of a kind masterpieces that could pass for real children. Take a look at the next picture for an example of what some artists can do:
Gorgeous, right? (It's on eBay right now for 125.00. I'm so tempted.)
Well, for some reason that is beyond me, people can't leave well enough alone, and this apparently applies not only to yard gnomes, but also to reborn dolls. Because the horrible new trend in the reborn dolls is--get this--reborn orangutans.

Yes, let's take something precious and make it creepy. Here's a reborn orangutan on eBay right now.

I am pretty sure this would frighten small children.

So then, your Christmas stash really wasn't all that bad, was it? And hey, if you need to go out and buy yourself a gift, I know of some great books you could buy. Just saying . . .

Far Fetched? I think not.

2010-12-23T00:12:00.009-07:00

I've heard on more than one occasion that my plot lines are far fetched. Take My Double Life. A girl meets another girl who looks just like her, and thereby figures out that they share a father--a famous singer.

Couldn't ever happen in real life, right?

Apparently, wrong. My friend just sent me a link to Liv Tyler's biography and that is exactly how she figured out her father was Aerosmith's lead singer, Steven Tyler.

Here's the excerpt from People's biography:

Discovering Daddy Tyler
When Liv sees Mia (Steven's daughter with his first wife Cyrinda, who is a splitting image of Liv) at an Aerosmith concert in 1988, she realizes Steven is her biological father.

Yeah, that must have been some ride home with her mom after the concert.

Mia's a plus size model now, but I still think she looks a lot like Liv.

It's weird really, how even when you think you're being original, you're not.

interview and free books

2010-12-11T12:28:00.004-07:00

A few blogs are giving away ARCs of My Double Life right now so I thought I'd let my blog readers know so they can enter. I'll update the list this week if google tells me of more blog giveaways. There's also a blog that's doing an interview, and since I know you're all memorizing Janette Rallison trivia and crave these sorts of details, I thought I'd add three of the questions here--sort of a teaser that will make you want to read the whole thing.

If you could travel in a Time Machine would you go back to the past or into the future?

Well, according to the latest novels (and we know authors are always right) the future is populated by dystopian societies that will do things like make you fight to the death in hunger games, choose your spouse for you, or put you in a deadly maze. Whereas the past was populated by numerous hot dukes, lords, and viscounts who were always looking for spunky heroines to settle down with. Taking that into consideration, I think I would visit the past.

If you could invite any 5 people to dinner who would you choose?

That depends whether my choices were limited to the living or if I could invite the dead too. (Although really, the dead don’t usually make good dinner guests.) It's too hard to choose just five, because George Washington gets all bent out of shape if you invite Abraham Lincoln and not him. So I’ll tell you which five writers I’d choose to have to dinner. Jane Austin, James Herriot, J.M. Barry, Ellen Conford (she was my favorite author growing up) and Charles Dickens

(Janette's note: I just finished reading The House of the Seven Gables and I can tell you right now that Nathaniel Hawthorne will never be invited to one of my chic and exclusive dead-author-dinner-parties because that man just drones on and on and on about the most pointless things.)

What is one book everyone should read?

Mine. Definitely. Just pick one—everybody should read it.

To read more of the interview, and a chance to enter the book giveaway go to:

http://iamareadernotawriter.blogspot.com/2010/12/bir2010-book-giveaway-my-double-life-by.html

You can find other book giveaways at:

http://fireandicephoto.blogspot.com/2010/12/janette-rallison-my-double-life.html
http://areadersramblings.blogspot.com/2010/12/best-ive-read-2010-day-6.html
http://www.bookscompleteme.com/2010/12/bir2010-book-spotlights-giveaway-my.html
http://www.onceuponatwilight.com/2010/12/bir2010-janette-rallison-interview-my.html

The Next Worry: Printing Mistakes

2010-12-03T09:32:00.006-07:00

I just sent off the galleys for My Unfair Godmother--which basically means I will not see that manuscript again until it shows up on my doorstep as a hardback novel. You would think my worries about the book would be over.

But alas, no. Because now I get to worry about printing mistakes.

This deep-seated worry probably had its origins back when I worked in a bookstore. We got a shipment of Bill Cosby's book Fatherhood and proudly set them up in a display case. Not long afterward, a customer came up and showed me one of the books. It was completely full of blank pages. The customer wanted to know if it was supposed to be some sort of gag book--as in, this is all I know about fatherhood--nothing.

Nope. It was just a printing error.

That would be a bad mistake, but there are much worse.

Take for example Penguin's recent mistake in a cook book where instead of calling for freshly ground black pepper, the recipe instructed cooks to add freshly ground black people to the dish.

As you can imagine, this caused a costly recall and reprinting of books.

Although at least if you get that sort of mistake, people will understand it was a typo.

But take Anne McCaffrey's collection of short stories called Get of the Unicorn (as in, offspring of the unicorn). The publisher misspelled the title, calling it: Get off the Unicorn. They never fixed it, and a generation of readers has read it wondering: Was someone on a unicorn? And why were they supposed to get off?

Still, it probably is good advice. If you're on a unicorn, get off!

Here's crossing my fingers that there won't be any embarrassing printing mistakes in My Unfair Godmother . . .

Reminder--Book Party tonight.

2010-11-29T08:33:00.002-07:00

That title sounds like a bunch of novels will be standing around the vegatable tray making small talk and complaining about their bindings.

But no, I'm hoping people will be involved in this event. Oh--and not only will there be a few books to giveaway--two of those books will be ARCs of My Unfair Godmother. If you have teen daughters--or if you just want to come to a book party--please stop by the Hamilton Chandler Library
Monday, Nov. 29 6:00 p.m. for the My Double Life Book Party

I'll do a reading, give some interesting back story on the book,and we'll be taking pictures in front of the paparazzi poster. Enjoy a Double Dutch demonstration, double snacks, and dress as your "celebrity double" for a chance to win a doubled prize!

10 reasons to be thankful you're an American writer in 2010

2010-11-25T11:17:00.004-07:00

If you’re a writer in 2010 you have a lot to be thankful for. Here on Thanksgiving Day I thought I’d provide a list of the top ten reasons to be glad.

1)The computer.
Can you imagine writing out your manuscript by hand? And then having to rewrite it every time you made a change? I shudder at the thought. Typing it on a typewriter wouldn’t have been much different. No wonder Jane Austen only wrote six books. I’ve been writing for fourteen years and I'm writing book number nineteen right now. Thank heavens and all those geek inventors who came up with the computer.

2)Spell check.
It keeps us from looking like total idiots in front of our editors. (There are enough other ways to look like an idiot in front your editor. Not knowing the difference between hay and straw comes to mind.)

3)The Internet.
Not only does the Internet make it easy to send off your manuscript. (Who wants to wait in a line at the post office and pay postage for every draft?) It connects us to other writers. When my first book was accepted for publication in 1995, I didn’t know a single other published author. I had no one to ask about contracts or marketing. Now I’m on lists with over a hundred different authors. When I needed a new agent, I asked for recommendations and within minutes had answers.

4)YouTube.
Seriously, YouTube has been a blessing for researching things. Because—for some bizarre reason that escapes me—people out there have a desire to put every event and mundane task up on the Internet. When I needed to know how to use a spinning wheel, I found it on YouTube. When I needed to know what it looked and sounded like to shoot a rifle, it was there. Ditto for different martial arts moves, horse jumping, arrow shooting distances, and what sort of ground cover was in the Shenandoah forest.

5)Wikipedia.
If you need the facts on just about anything (like how many books Jane Austen wrote), it’s there. Before the Internet, it took weeks to research things that I can find out in seconds now.

6)A literate population.
Granted, they had cool clothes, but it would have been pretty darn hard to make a living as a writer during the Middle Ages.

7)Laptops.
I can write anywhere now—even in the comfort of my bed. (Well, I would be able to write anywhere if my cat didn't think the keyboard was an appropriate place to sit on.)

8)We’re not censored.
Oh, I know authors are crying censorship all of the time, but what they mostly mean is: “Hey, somebody decided not to buy my book for their school!” If that’s the case, I should be on the banned list because apparently there are a lot of schools out there that don’t buy my books. (Although mostly it’s just because they’ve never heard of me.) Nobody is telling publishers that they can’t print our books, or stores that they can’t carry our books, or shoppers that they can’t buy our books. If you want to know what real censorship is, try to set up a printing company in a middle eastern or communist country and see how far you get.

9)E-books.
Actually I have mixed feelings on this one, but I can’t deny that it’s a good thing that you can buy books instantly from your computer or that authors can put up their backlists.

10)Weird people.
With the amount of wackiness out in the world, we’re never going to run out of ideas.

And the winner is . . .

2010-11-23T14:18:00.002-07:00

Shari--who is not only a follower, but a stalker as well!

Send me your address at jrallisonfans at yahoo dot com and I'll send the book to you.

Jonathan Stroud book giveaway

2010-11-16T13:59:00.010-07:00

Those of you who know me, know one of my favorite books is The Amulet of Samarkand, so when its author, Jonathan Stroud, came to Scottsdale, I had to make the trip to see him. I had never been to The Poisoned Pen before and I ended up parking half a block away and then making my way through back alleys to get to the store. That's fan dedication for you.

I named one of the characters in My Unfair Godmother Bartimaeus in honor of the Bartimaeus in Jonathan's book. Again, this is true fan dedication considering that I am a lousy speller and I usually avoid names that are four syllables long and have as many vowels as consonants. I gave Jonathan an ARC of My Unfair Godmother. Here he is saying, "You obviously don't know the difference between hay and straw."

Okay, not really, but I'm sure that's what he'll think when he reads the book.

Here is a picture of me with super librarian Tim Loge from Hamilton High. He's the one that's putting on the My Double Life book party on November 29th (Come and you could win an ARC of My Unfair Godmother--it's one of the prizes.) Anyway, Tim was there too and walked me to my car afterward so I didn't get mugged by any of the criminals who wander around Scottsdale at night. Talk about going above and beyond the call of duty.

Now to the book giveaway part. I bought another copy of The Amulet of Samarkand to give to one of my lucky commenters. (Or at least alucky commenter who lives in the US or Canada). Leave a comment and tell me what your favorite book from the last ten years is and Random.org will choose the winner. Blog followers get double chances, so be sure to say if you're a follower.

Here is the cool cover that I like. Unfortunately that isn't the cover for the paperback. The cover on the paperback is below. (You'll just have to pretend it's the cool one.)
May the numbers be with you!

Upcoming events: calling all fairies, celebrities, and readers

2010-11-09T08:02:00.003-07:00

As you can see, I'm wearing wings, which means it's Faerie Festival time again! Come mingle with fey folk. It's like Halloween for adults.

I'll be there Saturday, November 20th, doing a reading from one of my fairy godmother books at 3:30-4:00 and then signing books.

It's at Estrella Mountain Regional Park
14805 West Vineyard Avenue
Goodyear, AZ 85338

On a completely unrelated note, I found this darling fairy purse for sale online at: http://www.buycostumes.com/Fairy-Pouch/21198/ProductDetail.aspx?REF=SCE-pricegrabber.

What do you think--should I buy it? I mean, it's a want not a need, but it's just so cute. And now that you've looked at the link, you want one too, don't you? They also sell wings and fairy costumes if you happen to need a new fairy dress. (Although some of them look more like stripper fairies. Makes you wonder what Tinkerbell did in her spare time.)

You can check out more info on the festival at: http://www.westerngatesfaerierealms.com/PhoenixFaerieFestival.htm

If you are not of the fairy persuasion, I have a couple more events you might enjoy.

My Double Life Book Party at the Hamilton library (attached to Hamilton High)
3700 S Arizona Ave, Chandler, AZ

Monday, Nov. 29 6:00 p.m.- Meet famous Teen Author Janette Rallison, Double Dutch demonstration, double snacks, and dress as your "celebrity double" for a chance to win a doubled prize! For ages of 12 Years and 18 Years old. (And their mothers, of course)

I'll be reading from My Double Life, hopefully coming up with a few interesting things to say, and we'll be taking some of those awesome pictures in front of the paparazzi.

And last but not least, On Tuesday, November 30th, I'll be signing books at the Chandler Traditional Academy (Independence campus) Family Literacy Night 5:00-7:00
You can get a free My Fair Godmother poster if you come . . .and you know you really should get one since you talked yourself out of buying the fairy purse.

1405 W Lake Dr., Chandler, AZ 85248
located just west of the intersection of Lake Dr. and Alma School Rd., near Snedigar Park.

Hope to see you there!

Why writers shouldn't write warning signs, part two

2010-11-02T11:43:00.002-07:00

Writers have vivid imaginations. It shows up even when they write No Parking signs

Book give-away/name that book

2010-11-01T20:30:00.002-07:00

I love the Polish people. I don't know any Polish people personally, but I love them anyway because they keep buying my books. I think that says something about their inherent good humor and fine taste in literature.

Sometimes my publisher sends me the Polish additions of my books, which is very cool. Here you can see that 1,000,000 sprzedanych ejzemplarzy!!!

I am not actually sure what that means, but I hope that it means I've sold a million books, because I know I'm pretty close to that number. (The last I heard on the cover of My Double Life, it said I'd sold nearly a million books.)

You would think that my publisher would tell me these sorts of details, but no, I only learn them from the flap copy of my books.

Anyway, when I got this book it took me several minutes to figure out what book it was. And then when I did figure it out, I couldn't believe that I hadn't realized it as soon as I saw the cover.

So for all you true-blue Janette Rallison fans, I'm doing a book giveaway that Random.org isn't involved in. The first person who can guess which of my books this is the Polish version of, will win the English version of the book. (Or the Polish one if you'd rather.)

You only have one guess, (no fair listing all of my books).

Good luck!

Ambien and me.

2010-10-25T08:50:00.002-07:00

Insomnia has long been my nemesis. It used to be that I would only get it if I was stressed, or upset, or excited, or in a different bed, or if the air molecules weren't circulating in just the right way in the room.

But last year all of that changed. Meaning, it got worse. For two weeks straight I was averaging about four hours of sleep a night. I felt like my head was about to fall off my body. It was literally hard to think straight.

Surprisingly, it didn't affect my writing ability all that much. I actually wrote a good portion of My Unfair Godmother during that time. (What else are you going to do when you wake up at three in the morning?) It did, however, affect other important cognitive functions, like being able to discern the difference between laundry soap and fabric softener. I was constantly pouring the wrong one into the washing machine. In my defense, they were both in blue bottles. Okay, one was a light blue bottle that read: FABRIC SOFTNER and the other was in a dark blue bottle that read: CHEER, but still. Who notices those sort of details when your head is about to fall off?

So I finally went to my doctor and he prescribed Ambien.

I must admit I was a bit worried after I read about the side effects. The list starts out with dizziness, and daytime sleepiness, and then if you're still reading it mentions that people have gotten out of bed, driven vehicles, eaten food, made phone calls, oh yeah, and had sex while not fully aware.

Come again, what?

I began to wonder if taking that little pink pill would unleash some sort of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde sort of thing. What exactly was my Ambien personality going to do? But then I thought, Hey--maybe my Ambien personality will finish my manuscript!

Alas, that has never happened. Maybe I should have noticed in the side effect section that not once did it ever say: People have gotten out of bed and done their work. Which makes me wonder if all those people who got caught doing those other things were just using Ambien as an excuse. (No really, Officer, I don't know what I'm doing here in the red light district. It must be the Ambien.)

Anyway, I'm very glad to have my little pink friend on nights when I can't sleep. I highly recommend it--even if your Ambien personality won't be doing your work for you.

Teen writing class Oct 23

2010-10-22T13:34:00.001-07:00

For those of you in the Arizona area, I'll be at Litchfield Park Branch Library, 101 W. Wigwam Blvd., Litchfield Park.

Saturday, Oct 23
2:00

Writing the Teen novel for teens. (Although I imagine moms who bring their teens will be able to sit in too.)

Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/community/swvalley/articles/2010/10/19/20101019litchfield-park-teen-read-week.html#ixzz136euOfkd

Then again, being a writer is less stressful than playing golf

2010-10-17T18:14:00.002-07:00

Probably a lot of you have seen this picture of Tiger Woods accidentally hitting a golf ball right at a camera. It's being hailed as artistic or ironic or just amazing--because what are the chances that you're going to get a picture of Tiger Woods hitting a golfball at your camera?

But here's the thing that got my attention. Do you see the crowd that's behind him watching him play? EEEEEK! How many of us could spell our name accurately let alone hit a golf ball if a crowd that size was watching to see whether we messed up or not?

I realize that I have that many people reading my books and more. They'll know whether I bomb my next book. Still, I am sooo glad they're not watching me type or I'd be too stressed out to put my fingers on the keyboard.

So yeah, being a writer is great. We can spend time editing out our mistakes so the world doesn't see them.

Cathy W come on down!

2010-10-16T14:13:00.002-07:00

Okay, this isn't the Price is Right, but I've always wanted to say that anyway. Cathy W, you won, so email me your address at jrallisonfans at yahoo dot com and I'll send your book to you.

The rest of you, don't despair, I'll be doing another book give away soon.

Win Mother's Daze

2010-10-09T17:05:00.005-07:00

One of the funnest parts of going to writers' retreats is meeting new authors and getting their books. Author Jane Still generously donated one of her books to give away on my blog. It's an 82 page Erma-Bombeck style book on the joys of pregnancy and motherhood.

My favorite part was about morning sickness:

I find it ludicrous that some men, including doctors, have the nerve to suppose that throughout the entire span of history, women were so stupid that they couldn't invent a sickness that was a little less repulsive. If I were going to concoct a disease, it would have something to do with eating expensive chocolate. It would not involve sticking my head inside a toilet for a preview of last night's dinner being re-served in the form of warmed-over soup.

So, so true. Do you know who came up with the idea that morning sickness was a psychological phenomena? Freud. Do you know why he thought that? Because he was never pregnant.

Anyway, if you'd like a chance to win Mother's Daze, leave a comment in my blog about your favorite or least favorite part of motherhood. My followers get double chances and if you also happen to be a follower of Jane Still, make sure to mention it and you will get triple chances.

Her blog is at http://janeisfeldstill.blogspot.com/

Editors and Light bulbs

2010-10-04T08:08:00.004-07:00

Because I'm still doing revisions (I would be done now if I'd written a 250 page book, but no, I just had to write one that was nearly 400 pages. When will I ever learn?)I thought I would tell an editor joke--but first, here are some writer jokes.

How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence.

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just find the problems, they don't fix them.

Another book give-away

2010-09-29T15:36:00.002-07:00

Angela Fox, who've I've known for years through SCBWI and one of my writing email lists, is doing a Janette Rallison interview and book give-away on her blog. It's a video interview that for some reason (technology hates me) I look like Max Headroom in a couple of places. I must also warn you that I laugh excessively in said video. This is because Angela is hillarious and always makes me laugh.

Here's the link:

http://amusedcritic.com/interviews/skype-video-interview-with-janette-rallison-2-books-to-give-away/

For a chance to win a book, leave a comment in her blog.

The number one reason being an author is a great job

2010-09-22T08:47:00.004-07:00

Because you can count reading as work. Here's a 30 second video I did for another author's presentation about why reading is cool.

This cartoon pretty much sums up revisions

2010-09-15T21:54:00.002-07:00

Yeah, I'm back to revising . . . and eating cookies . . .

writing gaffes

2010-09-08T09:23:00.004-07:00

As I sit here waiting for the UPS man to bring me my latest manuscript so I can wade through my editor's revision comments, I am reminded of the many bloopers I've inadvertently written into early drafts.

I had a nurse who sighed patiently. (Well, how else is she going to sigh?)
I had a guard who looked at the heroine with a guarded expression. (Again, that's a given.)
And of course there is my infamous snake (which you wouldn't want in your mouth) who became a snack during the climax scene. (Not such a bad thing to have in your mouth.)

I have had characters walk down aisles and an ethereal smile that spellcheck turned into a urethral smile. (I'm not sure how that's even possible.)

But probably my all time favorite writing blooper wasn't written by me at all, but by my writer friend, Paige. In a draft for our critique group, she wrote a story about a princess who accidentally cast a spell that turned the castle staff into animals. These animals then did their eliminating business all over the castle floor. She and her family have to clean up after them. While she is cleaning, she thinks about asking her family for help breaking the spell, but then reasons that her family already has their hands full.

Which of course makes the reader wonder exactly how the royal family is cleaning up the mess.

This my friends, is why you should never publish your first draft.

Random.org has spoken

2010-09-05T21:04:00.002-07:00

And today our benefactor of true randomness likes Hall Family. So Hall Family send me your snail mail address at jrallisonfans at yahoo dot com and I'll send you your ARC.

And for the rest of you--I loved all of your wishes and wish I could be fairy godmother and grant them all. But you're probably better off that I'm not. I have a feeling I might be like Chrissy and then instead of having laundry that magically took care of itself, you'd have no clothing.

But never fear, I'll have another giveaway before the book comes out. And remember you no nothing about the difference between hay and straw.

My Unfair Godmother ARC giveaway

2010-08-29T22:01:00.003-07:00

Now that you've all finished Mockingjay (Do not tell me the ending!!! I'm still not done with it because my teenage daughter got to it first.) I know you're all looking for some other awesome book.

And what could be awesomer (I know that's not a word, but it should be) than catching up with our favorite incompetent fairy godmother, Chrysanthemum Everstar? So here's your chance to win an ARC before they even go to the reviewers.

Just leave a comment telling me what you would do if a fairy godmother gave you a wish (and no cheating by asking for more wishes, or to have magic, or anything else that would give you more wishes.)Be sure to mention if you're a blog follower since followers get double chances.

And remember--you're agreeing to overlook that whole business about hay and straw not being the same thing and all the other little problems that I hope I caught in the last draft.

May the Random Number Generator be with you!

The difference between hay and straw and why you should know

2010-08-20T17:35:00.006-07:00

Actually, you don’t need to know the difference between hay and straw, and I’m hoping you think they're interchangeable. That way you won’t notice the glaring mistakes in the ARC of My Unfair Godmother.

So call me a city girl—I’ve never dealt with either plants, and when I was putting my own spin on the story of Rumpelstiltskin I called the straw hay half the time. I even had a couple characters wonder what the horses would eat if all the straw in the kingdom were turned into gold.

About half of you are laughing right now because you know horses don’t eat straw. Now that I’ve done a little research, I know that pretty much nothing eats straw because it has no nutritional value. This is probably why people in the Middle Ages used it to stuff mattresses and for bedding in the barn. (I did know that much.)

In my defense, Rogert’s Fourth Edition Thesaurus lists straw under the food category and there’s that scripture in Isaiah about the millennium that says the lion will eat straw like the ox—which I suppose is a translation error since there’s that no-nutritional-value problem which makes straw unappealing to animals. (Although my children seem to love foods with no nutritional value.)

I’ve had two people read My Unfair Godmother and one of them told me about the straw/hay problem. I emailed my editor and told her about the issue. I thought she was going to fix it before the manuscript went to ARCs, but no, I just an ARC and the straw is hay half the time.

Sigh.

I hate looking like an idiot.

Anyway, this whole blog is just a preamble to tell you that next week I’m going to give away an ARC. But you have to pretend you don’t know the difference between straw and hay.

My top ten writing tips

2010-08-14T14:07:00.005-07:00

Here's an article I did for WriteOnCon about staying power:

I used to think that having a book published was an approval stamp of my writing ability—like having stores carry my novel meant I had mastered the craft. Ah, what charming naiveté I had back then.

Truth be told, I knew very little about plotting when I started out. I got lucky that my first story came together without much effort on my part. That happens sometimes. But you can’t depend on it.

If I could attribute my success at being able to continue to sell novels to one thing, it would be all of the hours I’ve logged in trying to learn how to improve my writing. (Well, that and the fact that I seem to have an unending supply of embarrassing moments from my real life that I can use in my books.)

So here are a few of the most important things I’ve learned while writing the last sixteen books. (Numbers seventeen through nineteen will be out next year.)

1) Make writing a habit. Find a time every day to do it. I’ve written while nursing newborns. I’ve written while waiting for kids at swimming, dancing, and gymnastics lessons. (Did I mention I have five kids?) You don’t need to wait for inspiration. Write when you can and the inspiration will come.

2) Take advantage of other authors—no, not literally—I mean take advantage of the vast amount of information authors offer you. Right now I have over forty-five books on writing sitting on my bookshelf. You can find a book on any aspect of the craft that you need. Get some and read them. They will save you a ton of time on revisions.

3) Which leads me to a couple of points of craft that you really should know before you sit down to your computer: Don’t let your characters wander through your novel without motivation and goals. If you do, your reader will want to slap your character. Repeatedly. Whatever genre you’re writing, your main character has a problem and your book is the story of how they deal with that problem. Your character should have a goal and be working toward it. Check over each scene and ask yourself what conflict is going on in each one.

4) Your character must have reasonable motives for everything they do. Granted, in real life people do things without thinking. They often make no sense. Take, for example, Lady Gaga’s wardrobe choices. Or the fact that teenage boys are all currently brushing their hair forward so that it looks like it is attacking their faces. You see my point. However, your characters must always have clear reasons for the things they do or you’ll lose reader sympathy.

5) Have a satisfying ending. It doesn’t necessarily have to be happy (although most readers prefer that type) and your main character doesn’t have to reach their goal, but you as the author have an unwritten contract with your readers. You’re asking them to invest their time and money in your story and you in return need to answer your story question and tie up loose threads. Your ending is not a dream, it is not a jumping off point to your next novel, and whatever else you do, it is not some artsy non-ending where the reader is supposed to interpret for themselves what it all means. If readers wanted to come up with their own endings, they would write their own stories, not buy yours.

6) Learn to use point of view. Put us deeply into your character’s head and we’ll care about what happens to him or her.

7) All right, now I’m getting off the craft soapbox and going on to a few other things I’ve learned. Selling the book isn’t the end, it’s the beginning. Oh, I know you thought you were just supposed to sit back and write the book, but not so, my friend, not so. You’re supposed to be out promoting yourself. This means doing a website, contacting newspapers, bookstores, and any other venue that might be interested in your book. This means—in my case—getting up in front of auditoriums full of junior high kids and giving presentations. And what could be more fun than a crowd of antsy, hormonal teenagers? Well, sometimes live tarantulas, but that is beside the point—because very few tarantulas buy books.

8) Network with other writers. Pretty much everything I’ve learned about this business has been from fellow authors. They’ve sent me flyers so I can see what’s supposed to be on them, they’ve told me how to write proposals for conferences, and pointed me in the direction of people who can do booktrailers. They’ve listened while I’ve griped about revisions and cheered me up when I’ve been so burned out I was spitting out ashes. There are tons of email lists and critique groups out there. Find one you like and join.

9) Read a lot. Not only is it fun, it will help improve your sense of pacing. That’s like eating a Snickers bar and having it help you lose weight. (I keep eating Snickers bars, by the way, and so far it hasn’t actually helped me lose weight.)

10) Keep in mind that writing books will probably not make you rich or famous. In fact, it probably won’t change your life all that much—unless you count the fact that you will have less time to do housework. Write because you love writing

I stand corrected

2010-08-09T14:38:00.005-07:00

The cover of my book, Playing the Field, has always bothered me, because as I told the Bow-Tied one long ago, "People don't stand that way."

I mean, really, have you ever stood there contemplating something with your hand on your chin?

But apparently some people do. Or at least the French president does. Clearly, my main character is destined for a life of politics. Or girl watching.

Why writers shouldn't write warning signs

2010-08-02T21:59:00.005-07:00

Ahh, but I really wanted to prance across the plants . . .

Apparently the random number generator can be bribed

2010-08-01T20:57:00.002-07:00

Because the first person Randy chose was Candace, who promised to send him chocolate if she won. I'm not sure how you're actually going to get that chocolate to the random number generator, Candace, but I'll let the two of you work that out.

Botterfly girl is also a winner so send me your addresses at jrallisonfans @ yahoo dot com. And Vanessa (last week's winner) your book is still sitting on my countertop. I went off to a writers retreat thinking that my dear husband would read my mind and know he was supposed to take that to the post office, but apparently he flunked mind-reading classes.

winner and next book give-away

2010-07-24T18:04:00.004-07:00

Random.org--whom I am now on a first name basis with, so I've taken to calling him Randy for short--has chosen the winner. Vanessa, it's you, dear! The very last commenter. How's that for true randomness? So Vanessa, send me your address and I'll send you a signed ARC.

But the rest of you that Randy unintentionally snubbed still have a chance because my French translator, Erzsi Deak, has an interview with me on her site in honor of the French release of My Fair Godmother, called: Le Troisieme Voeu (The Third Wish)

So here's the deal, read the interview (Oh come on, I know you all want to read about my embarrassing algebra moment) and leave a comment on my blog about something you learned from the interview. I'll give away two more ARCs. Followers get double chances the next week when I sit down with Randy again.

Here's the link:

http://erzsideak.com/

Another book give-away

2010-07-18T17:51:00.005-07:00

I should probably clean more. Who knows what I'd find? While going through the game room yesterday, I discovereed some ARCs (advanced reading copies) of My Fair Godmother. Yeah, I probably should have found a homes for those long ago. I'll start by giving one away here. That said, keep in mind that ARCs have typos in them. Usually the typos aren't that bad, but in My Fair Godmother . . . yowza. I think the publisher used someone who didn't actually speak English to go over them. Why else would somebody change the word Yankee to yanker? I mean, that makes no sense. When was the last time someone told you, "Go home, yanker!"

It sounds vaguely obscene.

Worst still, in the climax a snake is a snack. Yep, not many people are really afraid of snacks so it changed the whole meaning of the scene.

But who knows, if the book ever becomes a movie, maybe those typo-filled ARCs will become collector editions. (This is my attempt to make you covet one.)

Since Chrysanthemum Everstar, Fairy Godmother extraordinaire, loves to send people to fairy tales, I'll need to choose some new fairy tales for book three--assuming I ever do a book three.

So to enter to win, leave a comment about which fairy tale/myth/folk story hero you would like to see in book three. (Keeping in mind that Cinderella, Snow White, Rumpelstiltskin, and Robin Hood have already been used.)

Followers get double chances, so mention if you are a follower in your comment.

And may you live happily ever after!

Celebrity Fashion

2010-07-12T20:15:00.010-07:00

I've always been grateful that authors don't count as real celebrities, since there is some unwritten law that celebrities have to frequently dress like expensive clowns. I mean, really, what was Rihanna thinking when she bought this outfit? And for that matter, what was the fashion designer thinking when s/he designed it?

I'm imagining some drunk guy with a fake European accent saying, "At last, I have created the perfect blend between water-wings and dice!"

Or how about anything Lady Gaga wears. This for example:
The perfect blend of a life jacket and a disco ball.

But recently it has occurred to me that the reason that celebrities dress this way is so that people will plaster their photos around. Hey, it's free advertising. In this spirit, I'm beginning to think that I should dress like a celebrity at all upcoming author functions. So what do you think I'd look better in this:

Or this:

Maybe I'll just save myself time and wrap a roll of tin foil around my body.

How you know it's summer in Phoenix

2010-07-02T23:09:00.004-07:00

Your cats shed a lot. Yeah, she looks innocent, but she has ulterior motives for wanting to be petted. Honestly, this cat creates fur clouds every summer.

Fact checking in the real world--why authors can't ever really leave work behind

2010-06-27T15:20:00.009-07:00

I've been vacationing in Oregon and Utah, both of which have way better weather than Arizona has right now. I didn't mean to work at all, but the problem (or benefit, depending on how you look at it) is that you can't turn off the writer's brain. For example, when we went white water rafting, we took a 15 passenger van to the river head. The whole ride up I was thinking about the fifteen passenger van I have my characters riding around in during Slayers. (That may or may not be the actual title of the book.)

Actual example of the conversation in the van:

Youngest daughter (code name, Melody, because she has recently informed me that I should have named her Melody.) "Mom, look at how tall those trees are!"
Me: silently thinking, "My characters need a bigger van. There's not enough room for surveillance equipment in this thing."

Here are some pictures from our water adventure. Although I look like I'm standing up in the back of the raft, I'm not. The water is simply higher where I am.

In this next picture you will notice I have disappeared. Coincidence, or a plot by our evil raft guide? My question is this: Who in the world first saw a churning river with rapids quaintly named things like "Bone Crusher" and thought, "Hey, I have a good idea! Let's get a flimsy, air-filled boat, and go down this baby."

Who? Men, that's who.

In Slayers, my main character rides a black gelding named Bane. That's what the stables gave me. Unlike my main character, I had no mystic connection with my black horse. However, he did want to eat non-stop, so maybe there were similarities in our personalities. That's pretty much what I did on vacation.

Next stop, The Princess Festival in Lindon,Utah. Think Prom for little girls. Here is Melody riding a sea serpent. Hmmm, that would make an interesting plot point . . .

Here I am posing in a fountain with Melody. This picture actually has nothing to do with the rest of the blog. I'm just including it because I'm vain. I think most authors are. Why else would we ever think that anybody cared, let alone would pay for, all the stories that go swirling around in our minds? (Discuss amongst yourselves.)

Here is Melody with Beauty. All of the famous princesses were at the festival. (Which incidentally is a volunteer run fundraiser to help girls in Kenya.)The princesses had to have generic names though, so Disney won't sue them.

Here is the best princess of all: The Snow Queen, played by none other than big sister, code name Serena. Hey Serena, I knew that pale skin I gave you would pay off someday!

And lastly, here is Melody learning early on that to find your prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

I love princesses. I totally want to write that retelling of Cinderella that I've been thinking about since I wrote My Fair Godmother. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be doing revisions. Cinderella will have to wait.

And the winner is . . .

2010-06-23T20:56:00.004-07:00

First off, I feel compelled to tell you the show I would have snuck onto. Battlestar Gallactica. Captain Apollo . . . long heavy sigh . . . and Dirk Benedict . . . more sighing. True, the show had that stupid robot dog and sometimes the dialogue was cheesy, but hot guys make up for a lot.

Anyway, now that I have traveled down memory lane, you can read about the winner. Random.org, in all its random glory has chosen Karen Adair. So Karen, send me your regular address at jrallisonfans at yahoo dot com and I'll send your nuclear summer version book off to you.

Anyone else who wants another chance to win, GoodReads.com will be giving away a copy of Just One Wish from June 25-July 25. In fact, I think they've also got a copy of My Double Life they're giving away too.

Just One Wish give-away (The nuclear summer version)

2010-06-15T23:22:00.007-07:00

I have bemoaned before the utter lack of influence I have over my covers. In fact, it seems like the fastest way for a cover to get scrapped is if I say, "I love it!" Apparently my publishers think I have no taste (my children think the same thing) so if I approve of something it is a sure sign to them that it needs to be changed.

Alas, I loved the Just One Wish cover. And in my defense, I was not alone. It won the best YA cover award on one blog.

But my publisher has changed it despite my protests. They have pink-ified it. Yep, the beautiful blue background is gone and now it looks like that sunny day has been turned into some bizarre nuclear holocaust.

Still, in order to celebrate the paperback edition, I'm doing a give-away. In the book, Annika goes to Hollywood in order to find and bring back a famous TV star to meet her six-year-old brother, before he has dangerous surgery. During the course of her quest, she pretends to be an extra on the TV star's show and is actually recruited into a scene.

If you could sneak onto any TV show--still running or already cancelled--which one would it be? Leave your answer in the comment box and if you're a follower, mention it since followers get double chances.

Cheers! (That was a salutation and not my TV series of choice. Oh, oh, triple chances if you can guess which TV series I would choose.)

Morals and values in YA lit, or Janette should really get more sleep before she opens her mouth

2010-06-08T12:07:00.008-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, my friend (and super author) Shannon Hale asked for my opinion on a blog she was doing on morals and values in young adult books. Shannon, like a lot of authors, says she doesn’t think about morals or values as she writes. She just tells the story and lets people draw their own conclusions about it.

I typed out my opinion and sent it to her--although I wrote the email during a long stint of not-getting-much-sleep, and on that particular night I was up for 28 hours straight. The result is that my answer came off much harsher than I intended and it sort of sounded like I’m telling a lot of authors that they’re going straight to h*ll. With no stops along the way.

Yeah. Sorry about that to all of you authors I may have offended and will subsequently end up sitting next to at upcoming book conferences.

You can see the whole discussion over at: http://oinks.squeetus.com/2010/06/morals-and-values-and-lessons-oh-my.html

But basically my quote was something along the lines of: It’s irresponsible for YA authors to write about teen characters having sex when they make it seem like no bad consequences will happen. It’s tantamount to encouraging fourteen-year-olds to throw their lives away, and you’re all going to h*ll!!

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the exact quote, because I went on for several paragraphs, however you get the idea.

But here’s why it’s such an issue for me. About nine years ago while I was doing research for my book, What the Doctor Ordered, I had a scene where my doctor character counseled a pregnant teen. He told her she needed to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases, so I wanted him to throw out some statistics about STDs. I went on the internet to research STDs but I couldn’t believe the numbers. They were too high. Fifty percent of people have the HPV virus that causes genital warts and several kinds of cancer? One in six people have herpes? Surely not. More people would be talking about STDs if they were that big of a problem.

I called two STD hotlines and both times was told that 80% of sexually active people older than 14 years-old have some kind of STD. I still didn’t believe it so I called my gynecologist and asked him. He confirmed the numbers.

I was completely shocked. I still am. It’s a huge elephant in the room that nobody is mentioning.

Here’s another cheery statistic for you. I have a friend who works for a drug company and he’s traveled to Africa several times to work with doctors on their HIV medicine. According to him, in more than one country, one out of every five people are infected with HIV. One out of five! Think of the people who live on your street or the kids in your children’s school. Can you imagine if one out of every five of them had an incurable deadly disease?

Are we here in the USA smarter? Are we safer? Not according to one website I saw that said 50% of teens who have sex don’t use condoms.

And here are a few more facts kids should know before they make life changing decisions: Several STDs are incurable, many are painful, some aren’t prevented by using condoms, and more than one can kill you.

According to The Center for Disease Control approximately 19 million new STDs occur each year— almost half of them among young people 15 to 24 years of age.

The most reported diseases in the country every year are Chlamydia and Gonorrhea. Women/girls are particularly at risk because women don’t get symptoms from these diseases but both can result in infertility if left untreated.

As an added bonus, Gonorrhea—which has the highest reported rates of infection among teenagers and young adults—can cause pelvic inflammatory disease. About one million women in the United States develop PID each year. Look forward to abdominal pain, fever, and internal pus-filled “pockets” that are hard to cure and long-lasting.

Not fun enough? If you get syphilis, which can also go for years without detection, it can damage your internal organs, including the brain, nerves, eyes, heart, blood vessels, liver, bones, and joints. Signs and symptoms of the late stage of syphilis include difficulty coordinating muscle movements, paralysis, numbness, gradual blindness, dementia, and death.

Well that’s certainly worth contracting if the guy is dreamy enough.

I could go on, but I won’t. If you’re interested in more fun facts, you can go to the CDC website at: http://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm

In truth, I don’t think my fellow authors realize what a serious and devastating problem all of this is. I think they would be more hesitant to put sex scenes in their YA books if they did. Of course, I’ve done my part to solve the problem. I told all of the authors that read Shannon Hale’s blog that they’re going to h*ll.

I’m just really caring and tactful that way.

My Unfair Godmother--weigh in on the cover

2010-06-01T22:01:00.009-07:00

As my entripid followers know, one of the books I've been working on recently is the sequel to My Fair Godmother. I thought I'd unveil the cover. (Release date: JanuFebuaryish 2011)

Cool, huh? It was so considerate of Istock.com to shoot three different pictures of the same girl as a fairy so I could have some consistancy on my covers. (Sort of makes me feel like I have to write a third one, just so I can use that third picture.) I'm just hoping that the covers aren't so similar that people think it's the same book. (As in, oh, I already read that one. No need to buy it.)

The odd thing is that they sent me the cover on the 13th and I just signed the contract for the book today. When I saw the golden apple on the cover I thought, "Hmmm, People will wonder why that's there." So I had to go write a golden apple into the story. Hey, whatever works.

And the winner is . . .

2010-06-01T09:48:00.002-07:00

Today the random number generator has chosen Kayla. So send me your address at jrallisonans at yahoo dot com and I'll send your book.

And for the rest of you, never fear. I'm sure I'll be giving away more books soon. What would a week be without a trip to the post office, where the postman all think I'm a little bit odd? (They're right.)

My Double Life Give Away

2010-05-25T22:05:00.009-07:00

Andie, my intrepid rent-a-teenager, has come up with a book trailer for My Double Life. She did an awesome job, and special thanks to Arizona's own Jonnie and Brookie for letting me use their song: Missing Me Crazy. The first time I heard it, I knew I wanted it for the trailer because the chorus: You'd be missing me crazy if you only knew my name, fits so well with the novel.

For a chance to win the book, just watch the trailer and leave a comment about your favorite part. Followers get double chances, with the almighty Random Number Generator, so if you follow, follow me (sung to the tune of: Do As I'm Doing) be sure to let me know.

The Red Carpet launch

2010-05-19T09:56:00.025-07:00

In case you missed the big event of the year, I had a fab red carpet launch at Changing Hands. This is the dress I picked up at thrift store when I realized . . . Oh, red carpet means I have to dress up too.

These next pictures are of me and my entourage arriving. Curse the paparazzi! They make my life a living heck!

Okay, that's actually just my fantasy world. Hey, authors are allowed to have fantasy worlds. We even populate them and get attached to our characters. (Tristan is real! I know he is!)

Here we are posing for our adoring crowds. And yes, that is the Book Babe Faith, along with the lovely Babe Brandi and Babe Bethany. (We are all Babes.)

We took lots of awesome pictures of people posing for the paparazzi--and I will say that some of my friends and their kids are quite the hams, but since I wasn't sure if any of them actually wanted their pictures posted on my blog, I'm just posting a couple from a woman who frequently trots her children's pictures out on this blog.

Yes, this is Gaston, and this is what he really would do if paparazzi ever bothered him. (Actually, he would probably grab cameras and clang them together like cymbals.)

And here is my biggest fan--or at least my most up-to-date fan-- since she reads all of my stories as I write them on my computer. Yesterday she asked me, "If you weren't an author, would you be one of those mothers that does housework?"

The world will never know.

And lastly, this was my favorite picture. Babe Brandi appears to be a mild mannered book store employee by day, but she obviously has an inner starlet that is dieing to get out.

Random.org has chosen the winner/ more chances

2010-05-18T09:15:00.004-07:00

The random number generator--who boasts of true randomness (as opposed to all that fake randomness you find elsewhere) has chosen Enna Isilee as the winner.

If you feel lucky though, TeenLibris is giving five copies away at their site: www.teenlibris.com/win-me

Congrats, Enna. Send me your mailing address and I'll send you the book . . . well, actually, it may take me a day or two to send you the book because Putnam has still not sent me my author copies, something I am complaining bitterly about since I was supposed to get them last week. I bet Rick Riordan never has to wait for his author copies.

Hopefully they'll come today.

My Double Life giveaway

2010-05-11T09:23:00.011-07:00

It is just two short days until My Double Life comes out, so I'll be running a couple of give-aways, but just because I'm putting up a new blog--you can't forget to come to my book launch on Thursday, May 13th at Changing Hands: 7:00 pm. Remember, you're going to lure strangers into your cars and bring them with you. (Details are in the last blog entry.)

Okay, so here's the deal for the free book. Teen Libris and fellow author, Susan Colbank, have interviews with me on their websites and I am just fascinating enough that you'll want to read them both. Then leave a comment on this blog about something you learned about me or the book from one of the interviews. Mention whether you're a follower, since followers get double entries. May the random number generator be with you!

http://www.teenlibris.com/interviews/detail/janette_rallison/

http://susancolebank.livejournal.com/

Red Carpet Book Launch--free stuff!

2010-05-06T12:41:00.005-07:00

That sounds like I'm going to throw my book out the window, doesn't it? (Believe me, there were many days during revisions when I wanted to.) But no, I'm actually having a Red Carpet event at Changing Hands.

There will be free stuff: Books, a Changing Hands gift certificate, school visits--and you just might win some of it. I think it will be a lot of fun. Bring your daughters, your friends, complete strangers who you've lured into your car--and go as glam as you want, because we will be taking pictures in front of a 4x6 paparazzi poster.

Here's the info:
Thursday, May 13th at 7:00 pm.
Changing Hands Book Store
6428 S McClintock DriveTempe, AZ 85283(480) 730-0205

All her life, Alexia Garcia has been told she looks just like pop star Kari Kingsley, and one day when Alexia's photo filters through the Internet, she’s offered a job to be Kari's double. She takes the job in order to finally meet the father she's never known.

Alexia lives the celebrity life, even romancing the hottest lead singer on the charts. But is it real love if your boyfriend doesn't even know your name?

Just had to post this

2010-05-06T12:10:00.006-07:00

And when I can figure out how to post the whole thing here, I will. But right now you're going to have to copy and paste the link because for some reason the whole thing isn't linking up.

http://www.raisingarizonakids.com/index.php?page=1.library.article_view&ar_id=1236

It is--get this--me in a cooking article. Those of you who know me are laughing right now--or as my husband put it when I told him Raising Arizona Kids was using me for their recipee section:

"So they're doing a humor piece?"

Yes, yes they are. But that's beside the point. It's me in a cooking article. Take that, Martha Stewart.

And the description winners are:

2010-05-04T22:29:00.002-07:00

I have to say this was a really hard call. You guys wrote a ton of great description: delicious dips in his throat, muscles, cheesecake, sunlight tinging off his teeth, and Pluto the not-a-planet. I could go on, but you guys probably read the descriptions yourself.

The next time I have to describe an attractive person I will peruse through your comments looking for material. (I did warn you I would do that.) But the judges have spoken (At least one of them did--the other one's wife just had a baby so I'm cutting him some slack, but if he ever gets back to me there might be one more winner.)

Anyway, Jesslyn and Kimberly send me your mailing addresses at jrallisonfans at yahoo dot com and let me know which of my books you want. (With the exception of My Double Life--which still isn't out, but I'll do a giveaway for that book as soon as I get my author copies.)

(Wow, the parentheses are just flying in this post. It's obviously time for bed.)

The Whitney Awards

2010-04-26T23:17:00.011-07:00

I bet you thought I was going to ask you to write more descriptions of these very stunning women. No, dear blog reader, actually this is a picture of Julie Wright and I at the Whitney Awards. By the way, I am actually wearing one of Julie's dresses because she has much better taste than I do. (I had planned on buying a dress while I was in Utah but somehow it never happened.)

I know I should tell you who the winners of the description contest are. I'm going to get to that soon--really. I've enlisted the help of two judges and they have yet to get back to me about their choices. (If you're reading this, judges,take this as a subtle hint.)

The reason it's been so long since I've written, is that I've spent the last week in Utah doing school visits, book signings, a writers conference, and the Whitney Awards. My Fair Godmother was up for the best YA novel.

Here is a picture of me after the awards:
You can probably tell from the number of chocolate deserts sitting in front of me that once again, I didn't win.

Here are some other losers after the awards:
At least I'm in good company. Jessica Day George, James Dashner, and Julie Wright are all awesome writers.

And here's what happens when you go for a week with very little sleep. I am leading a group of women in a rendition of Beyonce's Single Ladies.

Dan Wells, who won some award for something, said that all my blog readers would wonder what I was pointing at. He may have made that snarky comment because I commandeered a podcast interview and asked him some of my own questions. Well, what do you expect when you write a book called: I Am Not A Serial Killer? People are going to wonder about certain things. One of the questions I asked him was, "What are you not going to be next?"

According to Dan, he is not going to be a vampire next, but I guess we'll have to see. Personally, I think Dan sparkles. Just saying. Here is a picture of Dan and me. I ask you: Does this man look like a serial killer and should people really be giving him awards?

Oh, all right, I'll post a normal picture of Dan and I.

Next blog I'll post contest winners and more pictures of the conference.

Book Give-Away/ The problem with attractive people

2010-04-14T22:36:00.007-07:00

I bet you think I'm going to say that the problem with attractive people is that they're conceited or used to privilege or they see the world differently from regular people. Probably true, but nope, that's not what this blog is about.

The problem with attractive people is that it is so hard to write interesting descriptions of them in books. When the heroine is describing the hero, (or the other way around) she needs to do it in a way that not only gives the reader a basic visual image, but also tells us he's attractive.

However, beyond writing about a few distinguishing characteristics--blond, brunette, square jaw, blue eyes or brown--you can't describe a person's face at all. People look vastly different from one another, but it's nearly impossible to detail those differences with words.

This makes describing a handsome guy or beautiful girl that much harder, and now that I'm revising book number 18, I feel like I've run out of fresh ways to do it. I want to write:

He had two eyes, a nose, and a mouth--and they were placed in just the right areas of his face.

You see my problem.

So here's the deal: Write a description of a handsome guy or a beautiful girl in the comment box. I don't care what color eyes, hair, or skin he or she has--I have a lot of beautiful people in my books. I'll get around to your favorite type eventually.

I may use all or part of your description at some point in one of my books. (Heck, I feel like there are so few ways to write up attractive people that I may have already used your description before you even write it.)

I'll choose two comments and those people can have whichever one of my books they want. (With the exception of My Double Life, which still isn't out yet--but hey, May 13 isn't that far away. Yay!)

Happy writing.